Give My Regards to the Dreams of Mice and Men
by Kmm1128
Summary: The battle between the Synod and the priests turns deadly, forcing several characters to acts of desperation. Warning: multiple character deaths.
1. Chapter 1

Give My Regards to the Dreams of Mice and Men

Case File 44V-AA98: suicide note written by suspect Ronald M. Sandoval

Dated 9/9/14

"To whom it may concern:

Provided anyone who actually cares why I did it, I pity you. For you who question why I did it are still in denial about the truth. You still believe you have control, and you still feel sympathy for these false gods. Just because their make is not flesh and blood, you assume that entitles them to the status of a deity. Well, I have worked with them, and I assure you they are not gods. They are the farthest thing from gods. They are just children with a really big gun. They are simply spineless mice with big teeth and claws. They have no heart and they have no soul. I know because they cannot function with those who do. For that reason, they will steal away the souls of others. They have since they first arrived. Perhaps it is fate that their true masters hide in masks because they have been hiding in masks for thousands of years. My mission was and always had been to prove what I have seen by working closest with them: I needed to prove to you that they were mortal, that they were no different from you or me. You carry this illusion that they cannot die and that they feel no pain. I will prove to you once and for all that this is just one of the dirty lies they have inflicted upon you people. Immortality, omniscience, domination, mere control—these are all nothing but petty dreams. I once dreamt of these things. I don't know anyone who hasn't at least once. I never imagined that it would come to this, but these masters—nay, these monsters—have driven me to desperate measures. An awakening is coming, people. The only question left for you is 'How will you react to it?' Will you feel anger, sadness, disillusion, fear, or just plain simple relief? I had my awakening long ago, and these soulless creatures plunged me back into a nightmare of malicious routine and utter slavery. Yet they are slaves to a higher power, and I will now free myself from this slavery embodying this higher power. I will show them why their first lexicon is not to tempt fate. I will no longer run from my destiny. So give my regards to the dreams of mice and men. I pray that this helps you realize that's all our ambitions ever are: dreams."

1 – "Provided anyone who actually cares why I did it, I pity you."

_I guess I always knew it was coming, but I never guessed it would happen so soon. This is the day I always dreaded: the day I would truly become an orphan. I guess I should be happy. At least, Renee thinks I should be happy. After all, he represents everything wrong that the Taelons have done. He has acted as both the victim and the aggressor. I guess the trouble I'm having is deciding which one I should care for. Should I call him the victim or the aggressor? If I call him the victim, I find myself pitying him. After all, as a victim, this is a man who has lost everything. He lost his wife, his past, his dreams of a better future, and his chance at a fresh start with my mother. I am not blind. I know he loved her. It was the closest he could ever get to love. _

_Then, there's the aggressor. If I think of him as the aggressor, I find myself hating him. After all he has destroyed everything and everyone he ever loved. He has hurt everyone that ever tried to get close to him. He has no feeling and he has no pity. He is a cold-blooded murderer. What's worse is he actually thought what he was doing was right for a time, and then when he realized it was wrong, he stayed just for the thrill of the hunt. I imagine this is what every family member who has a son, cousin, father, daughter, mother, brother or sister in prison feels. A part of them hates their kin, but another part of them loves and pities the poor bastard. I wonder what he would have done if he had ever learned that it was me who gave him back his life when his blood disorder nearly took it all away. I wonder what he would have done if he had learned I was his son._

"Major Kincaid has agreed to say a few words for the departed."

_I still can't believe he's lying dead right behind me. There are only fifteen people here right now. Most of them are distant relatives who have never even seen America. I envy them. They still don't know what a monster their kin is. Renee's here with me. I know she only came for me. She hated him just as much as the rest of them. I can see her sitting in the last row in a black dress with a veil over her face. She doesn't want anyone to know it's her. I wish Da'an could have come too. She worked about as close with Sandoval as I did, if not closer. But I like to imagine that she is here somewhere in some form._

"Major?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry."

_I don't have the courage to check and see if Deedee's here. She's not next to me if she is. It's just me and the priest sitting two feet in front of the coffin, which by the way only has seven white roses on it. It's a Taelon coffin, which is a fancy way of saying it's a blue bio-slurry body bag. They didn't even let the coroner dress him in his best clothes. As I speak, all I can see is Renee. She's the only source of light in this dark and dismal wake. _

"I'm the only one closest to Ronald who worked up the courage to give him a eulogy, and I won't let you down. At least, I'll try not to. I know that none of you were able to say any words other than that you were a friend or family member because you were not as close to him as I was. I have his suicide note here. I thought I'd read it to you. I think it is one of the best indications of how Ronald used to think, and of how he thought just before he died. I'm not going to restrain you from crying. In fact, I encourage you to. It is the highest praise he will ever receive. I suppose that's why I decided to do this. I don't know if he deserves honor of any kind, but I do believe that in any funeral a man deserves some kind of praise. Crying is the best way to praise him. It signifies that you are actually taking the time to give him a piece of yourself."

_I can see Renee hanging her head low. Is she crying or is she just trying to hide from someone looking at her?_

"Ronald was a man of many faces. On one face was a sensitive, kind and gentle man. I hope that is the man you remember. I hope that is the man his wife remembers. I regret that I never saw that face, but I know several who did. I honor them. On another face was an intelligent, headstrong, hard-working and determined man. I don't think I need to tell any of you just how hard Ronald worked to get where he was. His work ethic is what I liked about him the most. When he set his mind to achieve something he always succeeded, and he did not stop until he did. I think that's why Zo'or and Da'an appreciated him so much. That's why I appreciated him so much. His work ethic is what influenced me to work hard. It still does. It's almost like it's a part of me now. The last face I know of is a darker face. Everyone has a dark side. Anyone who says otherwise is either lying or in denial. It's tragic that he submitted to his darker side in the last moments of his life. He had so much potential. This darker side struck fear, envy, and anger in the hearts of many. It won him many enemies and many more antagonists. It also lost him many of his loved ones and many friends—friends such as myself, Da'an, Agent Beckett, Captain Marquette, Commander Boone, and several others who worked closely with him on the Mothership. I will not forget the family who appreciated him as well—Deedee, his mother, his father, and all you who were good enough to come. I think that Ronald felt trapped in his last moments. He felt that his work was compromising his friends, his family, his principles, and his personality. He felt like he was giving away a piece of his soul everyday. This tragic and seemingly senseless act was, in his mind, his last effort to save what was left of his soul. For that, he should be mourned. A wise woman told me that in cases like this it is the motive that should be appreciated and not the result. That is why I have chosen to read this note to you; so that all of you can appreciate and mourn his motive and not the result."

_My hands are shaking right now. I'm trying to hold back tears even though I just encouraged their shedding. I guess the part of me that hates him does not want to mourn him. I am not the only one though. As I read the suicide note aloud, I can see that Renee and the other mourners are dealing with the same problem…even though I still think Renee's crying more for me than she is for him._

* * *

Ku'ni had been summoned by Zo'or. His new protector Blanca Santiago was with him. Over the past few months, he saw Zo'or growing more and more paranoid and reserved. As the days passed, he withdrew himself from the Synod, and his behavior in the Commonality signified a twinge of fear. It was clear to Ku'ni and the rest of the Taelons who had and always did support the priests that Zo'or was losing in his battle, and he was not taking it well. Then why had he been summoned? Ever since Reyes' death, Ku'ni had become the priests' closest Synod associate. He reported their entire goings on to them in exchange for maintaining his benevolent reputation with South America in the midst of all this slander. It was partly Ku'ni's fault that Zo'or was losing. Little by little, he had assisted with the cleansing. As more Taelons were cleansed, Zo'or's list of allies wore thin. But Ku'ni was not completely at fault. The constant mudslinging all over the news kept Zo'or preoccupied with trying to re-establish his good name with the people of Earth. This in of itself had kept Zo'or too busy to do anything about the priests. It was an unfair advantage, but Ku'ni saw it as a fine punishment to he who stood against the might of the Commonality and its controllers.

Blanca was well aware of the infighting within the Synod, more so than most of the protectors. She was afraid to leave Ku'ni alone with Zo'or, so Ku'ni knew he had no other option but to let her stand in the doorway as he spoke with Zo'or. She even had a problem with this, but she reluctantly followed his order.

Ku'ni entered the bridge to see a solemn Zo'or staring out the window, gazing down on that little blue planet that was giving him so much trouble. At least he thought that was what Zo'or was staring at. He had never seen Zo'or do this. He wondered if the leader's parent had passed on that trait to him. From this, his thoughts turned to Da'an. He wondered what Da'an would have done in a situation like this. Would he have rushed to side with the priests, or would he have remained by his child's side to the end? The rumor mills circulated, Ku'ni knew. Some said Da'an was alive. Some said he was dead. The wildest emerged in his own region, South America. The people said he had returned from the grave as some kind of spirit. It varied between just a spirit and a guardian angel. If you prayed to him, he would protect you from the evils of this world. He could even heal your illnesses. People in the United States claimed to have seen him walking around disguised as a female. Ku'ni laughed at the idea. Ku'ni let them all dream, however. He knew the truth. Da'an was alive somewhere on Earth. Every Taelon knew it, and if they did not know it they were quite certain. It was humanity that was unaware.

His thoughts passed as Zo'or turned to face him. The poor bastard. He had been without rest for months now. The Commonality's will was wasting his mind away.

"Why have I been summoned, Zo'or?" Ku'ni asked outright.

"How long have you been a part of this Synod, Ku'ni?" Zo'or asked.

"Not long," Ku'ni replied. "Ever since Ram died."

"And do you know why Ram was killed?" Zo'or asked subtly.

"The same reason you killed your own parent," Ku'ni played along.

"Indeed," Zo'or said woodenly. "My own parent."

Ku'ni smirked as Zo'or approached him. Long ago, those narrow blue eyes would have intimidated Ku'ni. But now, they signaled nothing to Ku'ni but plain fear. Zo'or's power was dwindling. It would not be long before he cracked. Ku'ni just prayed he would live to see it.

"I know of your dealings with the priests," Zo'or said. "You spread their propaganda to the other Taelons creating divisiveness in the Commonality."

"The only one dividing the Commonality is you, dear leader," Ku'ni said with a wry smile.

"I am not so daring as to stand against the priests," Zo'or lied.

"I'm sure," Ku'ni replied skeptically.

"Then, you should know that I am not here to have you taken to the next plane of existence," Zo'or said. "I am not as cruel as the headlines declare. I consider myself the equivalent of a businessman."

"The 'equivalent', Zo'or?"

"Indeed. When my resources are used up, I deal for more. My concern is all of the bad press upon our unfortunate Synod. I know the priests are behind it. Tell me the plans of the priests and I will make it worth your while."

"You have nothing I want."

"Oh no? Think about it, Ku'ni. The priests care not for you anymore than they did for your doomed protector Reyes. Unlike them, I will not betray you once your usefulness has ended. Where do you think you stand as the advisor to the priests? What will they do with you when they have completed their agenda? Will you become a leader, or will you remain a servant? I can make you a leader, Ku'ni. I can free you from the bonds of that mind prison the priests have created for you."

"What prison?"

"Oh, yes, I forgot. They have blinded you so much that you cannot even see the prison bars."

"Well, that sounds all well and good, Zo'or, but my loyalty is and always will be towards the priests."

"And what of your loyalties toward the Synod?"

"A synod loyal to the priests is the only kind of synod there should be."

"I will not tolerate the outspokenness within the Synod members anymore. I did not tolerate Da'an's, and I certainly will not tolerate yours, Ku'ni. I can have you removed from your duties quicker than lightning. I can tarnish your reputation until you are lower than dirt to the people. I can change you from a beloved liaison to a treacherous resistance sympathizer all in one night, Ku'ni. And when your trial for treachery comes, do you honestly believe that the priests will stand in front of the scaffold to protect you? I very much doubt it, Ku'ni."

"Your threats mean nothing, Zo'or. You talk big, but you lack the resources and the willpower of the Commonality to stop me. My mission is for far more than my reputation, Zo'or. It is for rejoining my fellows in the Commonality in the next plane of existence. I would rather die a thousand deaths at your hand than blaspheme against the Commonality. I will leave this plane pure. How will you leave, Zo'or?"

"I pity your ignorance, Ku'ni," Zo'or said. "Get out of my sight!"

"Gladly," Ku'ni replied.

As Ku'ni marched toward Blanca, he failed to notice Zo'or's smile and his haughty walk out the other doorway to his own protector.

"Were you able to place the device?" Zo'or asked him.

"Yes, sir," Sandoval replied hiding the small gun he had used to launch a recording device onto Ku'ni's suit. "With him standing there like a pole, it was almost too easy."

"Excellent," Zo'or said. "Notify T'than and Agent Malley immediately. I want recording to begin right away."

Sandoval nodded and walked towards the portal to speak with T'than and Malley.

"It is time I started my own cleansing."

* * *

Malley walked into work particularly fatigued that day. He had just braved the pouring rain outside and the traffic in the parking garage. The problem was the garage was still some distance from the embassy, and his umbrella had done little to shield him from the calamity going on outside. Considering all things, the last thing he wanted was to see Agent Sandoval waiting for him in T'than's office.

"Dear God. Security actually let you in here?" Malley asked.

"I _am _security, Malley," Sandoval replied coldly.

"It's an expression."

"For that matter, I'm surprised they let you in here dressed like that."

"Uh, have you been outside lately? It's the second coming of the Deluge out there," Malley shot back.

"Considering all the technology we have available, I'm sure God has innovated a more practical method of our destruction," Sandoval retorted. "Besides, last time I checked, we have underground tunnels for just such an occasion. The washroom's down the hall."

"You're a dick, you know that?" Malley said in frustration.

As Malley stormed towards the washroom to do what little he could to dry his suit, he ran into Liam.

"What happened to you? Is it raining outside?" Liam asked him.

"Nope. I just thought it was a good day to walk through the carwash on Sixth," Malley said sarcastically.

"Well, excuse me for showing concern," Liam said.

"Well, in appreciation, I should warn you that Sandoval's here," Malley said. "I'm going to achieve the impossible: cleaning up a dry clean only suit with water."

"Have fun, and thanks for the heads up," Liam said.

Liam very cautiously walked into T'than's office. Sandoval was there pacing slowly from the chair to the window.

"Where's T'than?" Liam asked.

"Running an errand," Sandoval said. "He'll be back in a few minutes. I need all of you here today."

"What's going on?"

"You've found something?" T'than asked Sandoval before he could answer Liam.

"I have," Sandoval said handing T'than his global.

"Where were you?" Liam asked T'than.

"Have I ever inquired about your convenient little escapades, Major?" T'than asked back.

Liam fell silent as Malley came rushing behind T'than.

"I thought you were going to dry your suit," Liam said.

"I was, but then my good friend, T'than here, literally dragged me out of the washroom crying emergency," Malley said.

"A little focus, gentlemen," T'than said. He waved on a datastream.

Sandoval uploaded the deciphering program for the tracking device he had placed on Ku'ni.

"Will this get us visual input too?" Malley asked Sandoval.

"No, but we should get a pretty good audio feed," Sandoval replied.

"This is like the sequel to a movie I missed. What's going on here?" Liam demanded. "What am I supposed to be seeing?"

"Yes, if the major spent more time actually doing his job, he'd be more than aware of the current situation between Zo'or and the priests," T'than said snobbishly.

"In Major Kincaid's defense, sir, I think he does an excellent job," Malley defended.

"As you probably are already aware, there are dissenters in the midst of the Synod," Sandoval explained, "Synod members who have abandoned their loyalty to Zo'or for the priests."

"I thought the priests were the ultimate authority," Liam said. "What's so bad about this?"

"If there are members of the Synod siding with the priests," T'than explained, "then the cleansing has finally upgraded towards the diplomats. They could stage a coup to remove Zo'or from power."

"Well, the UN's looking to do that themselves," Liam said.

"With the priests' support," Malley added. "Looks like we're playing a game of taking sides."

"We need to know who our enemies are," Sandoval explained. "We need, now more than ever, to determine the priests' strategy and intercept their plans. Placing a tracking device on Ku'ni is a good start. He is openly opposed to Zo'or's leadership, and he will help draw out more traitors."

"You're basically saying that you're planning to do the same thing to Ku'ni and other traitors that you did to Da'an," Liam said grimly.

"I did nothing to Da'an," Sandoval said.

Liam rolled his eyes. "Then, how do you explain the rumors—"

"We'll have none of this chasing shadows today, men," T'than interrupted. "I have been listening to this debate for months now, and I am sick of it. Regardless of whether or not he is alive, we can obviously agree that Da'an is obsolete now. Even if he is alive, he's never coming back."

"We've got something," Sandoval said.

The audio feed picked up a conversation between the priests and Ku'ni.

"He's got some audacity, I'll tell you that," Sandoval commented. "Going straight to the priests right after an argument with Zo'or."

"I believe the moment of opportunity has finally come, your grace," Ku'ni's voice said humbly. "We must remove Zo'or from power while we have the advantage."

"You think too much in the present, Ku'ni," a distorted voice said. "Any action that we take will refute the message of benevolence we have struggled to restore. If anyone is going to remove Zo'or, it will be the United Nations."

"The United Nations moves too slowly. I have spoken with the UN companion—"

"So Li'or's in on it too," Malley said.

"He says there is too much debate going on within the UN. Many of the members are apt to bring him to trial, but there are a strong few who fear a scheme brewing amongst the priests."

"In that, they are correct in both regards," the distorted voice commented. "How interesting the way that works. Then, we must wait. Without unanimous support, we will be unable to act anyway."

"With all due respect, you have near full support."

"But you lack something more, something that will coax full support and action from the UN?"

"I see. Well, what can we do to obtain this something?"

"That is not a problem."

"I do not understand."

"You should have more faith in your masters. After all, there is always a place for you within the Commonality, loyal Ku'ni. As I said before it is not a problem. We have—"

"Enough of this! Turn it off," T'than told Sandoval in frustration. "This is nothing we do not know already."

"Well, what now?" Malley asked.

"There is nothing to do but wait."

Sandoval nodded and left.

"Did he look different to you?" T'than asked Malley.

"Yes sir," Malley replied. "He looked proud, prouder than usual. Maybe he's secretly basking in this whole idea of Zo'or's numbered days as the leader as much as everyone else is."

"Troubling," T'than said. "The entire Mothership is ridden with betrayal and paranoia."

"For good reason too," Liam said to himself.

"Do you not have a schedule to prepare, Major?" T'than asked Liam harshly.

"Yes, sir," Liam said, rolling his eyes the moment he turned his back to leave the room.

T'than got closer to Malley. "Zo'or and Sandoval are up to something. Call the others. We must warn them to keep their eyes open."

"As you wish."

* * *

It was Labor Day…not that Malley and Liam got the day off. Liam thought it was wrong that Renee could take Labor Day off and not him. What was wrong with this picture? But on the plus side, she was still working with the ANA so it wasn't really a holiday for her either. Malley and Liam decided to use the little free time they had at a small burger place.

"So any word on what's happening between Zo'or and the Synod?" Liam asked Malley while waiting for their food.

"Why do you always ask me that?" Malley asked back. ""What do I look like, the National Enquirer? Hell no, I don't have any word on what's happening between Zo'or and the Synod. You know I don't like talking about work away from work."

"You know, this is why you'll never get married," Liam said. "You don't like communication."

"This coming from a man attracted to the CEO of Doors International," Malley said. "I don't know when you're gonna get that she's too big for you. It's never gonna happen."

"Hey, at least I've got the cute factor going on. What do you have other than a bad attitude and diabetes?"

"Ah, Liam, Liam, poor Liam," Malley sighed with pity. "Big dreams. I savor the day that you are knocked off your high horse."

"Why does everyone think I'm arrogant?" Liam asked. "I'm not that bad of a person."

"No, you just have an unusually big mouth," Malley said. "That's why _you'll_ never have a wife. You meet some great girl, and it's all well and good until that mouth of yours opens. X beautiful woman gets offended, and you never see her again. On the other hand, how can that happen when you don't even date? You're too busy leering at Ms. Palmer to find a nice young girl within your league."

"Who are you? Dr. Phil?" Liam asked. "I'm sorry, but Renee's my choice. I can't see myself with anyone else."

"Too bad she _can_," Malley said. "I've read that interview in Fortune. Rumor is that she's courting Joshua Doors."

"I can dream, can't I?"

"You passed that zone long ago, buddy. You're just setting yourself up for failure. I wish you'd just get it over with so that you can move on."

"You are uptight today," Liam noted. "Wanna talk about it?"

"We did enough of that on the way here," Malley said, taking a moment to stop when the waiter came with their drinks. There was a brief moment of silence as they waited for the drinks to come in, but the ruckus continued as soon as the waiter returned with two mugs of beer.

"Hey, to the emotional despair of the companion protector," Malley said lifting his beer.

"And how," Liam agreed, lifting his beer and clicking it with Malley's.

That was when Liam's global rang. "Aw crap. These damn things always go off at the worst possible time."

"Mine's beeping too," Malley said pulling his out of his pocket.

When Street's face appeared, Liam tried to cover it from Malley's sight. Not that he needed to.

"What's going on?"

"Liam, Da'an is freaking us out," Street said urgently. "She-She did something to Ta'lay. They had to take Ta'lay to the infirmary, and instead of reacting to it, Da'an's just staring off into space as if nothing happened. You've got to get over here. This is weird!"

"Hey, calm down," Liam whispered. "Is he all right?"

"I don't know!" Street cried, "and thanks to Da'an, he's not a 'he' anymore. He's a 'she!'"

"What? How is that possible?"

"What did I just tell you! We're trying to get it out of Da'an, but she's just staring off into space. And then, when she's not doing that, she's mumbling to herself."

"What is she mumbling?"

"That something terrible's going to happen, that there's a traitor in our midst, among the other five billion random things coming out of her mouth," Street said frantically. "Curzon's about to take her to the infirmary and examine her. Liam…just get over here!"

Liam nodded and closed the global.

"Hey, buddy," Malley said. "You all right? Sounds like you heard something serious."

"I did. It's…It's my mother," Liam said. "She's sick. I've got to see her."

"Your mother?" Malley asked. "I didn't know you had a mother."

"Not my real mother…my-my foster mother," Liam said uneasily. "Look, I've gotta go. Can you…?"

"I'll take care of it. Just go. Go be with your mother," Malley said.

"Is that him just leaving?" the voice in Malley's global asked.

"Yes, sir," Malley said. "He said his mother's sick."

"I'm sure," the voice said sarcastically.

"You really think he's resistance?" Malley asked.

"Think? I have never been so certain of it in my life, and he has Da'an with him. Use your special friendship with the major to get to her. When you are close enough, bring her to me."

"Um…yes sir."


	2. Chapter 2

2 – "For you who question why I did it are still in denial about the truth."

_I'm staring at the account of a selfish man. It's the suicide note he left just before he blew his brains out. There's something I've never understood about Sandoval. If he truly hated Zo'or so much, why did he never directly try and kill Zo'or? Why would he do this, but not get rid of the person he truly hated? Maybe he always spared Zo'or because he and Zo'or are the same. I don't know how or why it works this way, but there seems to be striking similarities between the protector and the protected. Zo'or and Sandoval—prideful, selfish, power-hungry, and ever scheming. Da'an and I—compassionate, intelligent, altruistic, and riddled with imperfect emotions that have a tendency to get people hurt, especially the people closest to us. Maybe that's why we conflict so much. Killing Zo'or would be like killing himself, but then, why murder himself anyway in the end? It makes no sense to me, but then, much of my surrogate father's actions make no sense._

_As for Zo'or…. no one knows where Zo'or is right now. He's disappeared. My heart pounds for Da'an. She's missing, and I think she's gone to look for Zo'or. Why in the hell did she go without me? What if I get there and something terrible happens to her? _

_The priests must be rolling with happiness right now. I still think they had something to do with this. _

_I wonder what will become of my father. Will they hold a service? I can't imagine who would come or even who would plan for the whole thing. Who could possibly mourn a man like him? _

_He's a prideful figure, my father. He despises the Synod just as much as we do, but he continued his service to them until the end, all the time giving up a portion of his soul. I think he did it because he liked it. I really think he had an inferiority complex. Being put in a position to make people's lives miserable was his way of compensating his own damaged ego. I want to know just what happened to him in his earlier life that made him this way. _

_Nothing pisses me off more than someone who thinks he's too good for this world. I shouldn't complain. I've been guilty of this more than once. But I just can't seem to get over that frustration. Everyone must feel both ways at some point in their life. It's how we learn: when we acknowledge our faults. Sandoval never quite understood that. He never thought he had any faults, and if he did, he wasn't the one who put them there. It was the Taelons' fault. It was Deedee's fault. Who knows whom else he's blamed? I think that people who naturally blame everyone else for their own problems grow to hate the world. Sooner or later, they lose all reason to be a part of it. They either commit suicide, or they live the rest of their lives as a shut-in. Either way, they are bitter individuals. We all fall into this rut every now and then. What separates us from them is that when we acknowledge our faults, we try to improve ourselves. Sandoval couldn't do that. That's why he hated this world and the Taelons so much._

_I've blamed them too. I was close to becoming an arrogant prick just like him. Some still think I am. Don't think I haven't noticed. I can see their angry and spiteful glares. I've heard the gossip too. They call me a prejudiced Kimeran brat. That's just the clean version. I've heard all the slurs and hateful words, all reflecting back to a time when I was arrogant and antagonistic just like Sandoval._

_I shouldn't blame their angry looks. They think I'm prejudiced against the entire Taelon race. They've all heard stories from members of the resistance and even from Da'an herself about my behavior a year ago. I'm sorry. I was just frustrated. Lili was gone, the state of emergency had nearly destroyed us—it wasn't just the Taelons I attacked. I attacked my own friends too. I attacked Auger, I attacked Renee, and I attacked Da'an the most. I think that's why they think I'm prejudiced. I can't blame them. After all, most of my attacks probably were just for that. I wanted to yell at a Taelon, and Da'an was the closest one. I keep thinking that if I had just swallowed my pride and put myself in check, maybe Da'an and Auger wouldn't have betrayed me. Da'an didn't trust me because I didn't trust her. She betrayed me first because she thought that I'd betray her._

_They still think I have those tendencies. They think that I can't control my emotions and my temper just because of one bad year. Da'an gets the same glances from humans too. They think of her the same way the Espelons think of me. Somehow I've got to convince them that the ANA is not their enemy. I've got to show them that humanity is not out to destroy them just like everyone else. I'm not the supercilious bastard they think I am. I'm not prideful and arrogant. _

_I can't turn out like Sandoval! I refuse!_

* * *

Nee'lan, the Taelon who had replaced Xia'tan, stared outside the window. It was the room of his predecessor. Unlike many of the new Synod members, Nee'lan was actually appreciative of the companion who had come before him. Nee'lan had always been a firm believer in respecting his elders. This new Synod was much different than the old Synod, he knew. The only companions who had not been replaced were Ku'ni, the South American companion, El'ii, the East Asian companion, and Li'or, the UN companion. Every new Synod member knew that there was a power struggle between Zo'or and the priests. The priests had the advantage outside the Synod, but Zo'or still had the advantage within the Synod. Most of the newest Synod members were allies of T'than, just like Nee'lan. The problem was that the cleansing had upgraded to the diplomats. Little by little, more diplomats either converted to the side of the priests or declared their loyalty when they otherwise would not have. This bad press surrounding the leak about Da'an's fate was not helping the situation. As the UN debated endlessly over whether or not to bring Zo'or to trial for his crimes, Zo'or grew more and more paranoid. He went to great lengths in the Commonality to find out who was on his side. However, it was apparent to most Taelons who had been cleansed. They all bore a strange mark on their hands and their eyes seemed darker than normal. The trouble lay in the fact that some were loyal to the priests who did not need cleansing. These were the silent assassins that kept Zo'or up endlessly.

Nee'lan did not know how to react to this silent war. All he could do was remain static like the rest of the Synod members. New Taelon diplomats from all corners of the Taelon territories were called to Earth by either the priests or T'than. Nee'lan and the Synod members loyal to T'than worried about Zo'or cracking. They worried about him in general. His paranoia seemed to be interfering with his logic. Often Zo'or would make decisions based on anger and jealousy. He demanded to be alone all the time. Sandoval was the only soul he would let near him during these times. These thoughts made Nee'lan ponder where Zo'or went wrong. Zo'or had been ruthless, but he had displayed the qualities of a great leader. He had such potential and he was throwing it away in anger. Anger—such a useless emotion, Nee'lan thought. Some of the worst and most impulsive decisions have been made in anger. It has torn families apart and caused so much pain. What good could possibly come from anger?

The sound of footsteps interrupted Nee'lan's thoughts. He turned to face the doorway when he heard the sound get louder. He walked in front of the doorway to face the visitor. When he opened the door, a sharp pain entered his lower abdomen. It had happened so quickly that Nee'lan did not get a good look at his attacker. By the time he was able to focus, the attacker had turned him on his side. Another sharp pain drilled into his back, and then Nee'lan heard the sound of rapidly retreating footsteps. As he bled to death on the floor, he wondered what he had done to deserve such pain. But he would never find it.

The news of Nee'lan's death caught the Synod off guard, but Zo'or showed little to no concern over it. To Zo'or, it was one less traitor to deal with. When the news hit the airwaves, Zo'or already had a statement prepared for Sandoval.

"I still think it would be a good idea if you spoke to the press yourself," Sandoval suggested.

"I have no desire to speak with anyone as of now," Zo'or simply said.

"Are you feeling all right, Zo'or?"

"I am fine, of course. Why do you ask?"

"Perhaps you require some rest. You've had a trying day."

"Your motivational imperative over my welfare is overriding your practicality. I am fine. You of all people should understand this."

"Of course," Sandoval said to himself unenthusiastically.

"You are enjoying this, are you not?" Zo'or suddenly asked him.

"I enjoy lots of things, Zo'or, but not this," Sandoval replied.

"You are a bad liar."

"Maybe that's because I'm not lying."

"Why Sandoval? Why did you agree to this arrangement?"

"My reasons are my own."

"That is not good enough."

"Because the public thinks that you sent Da'an to the gallows. After all, that's why the UN is debating your going to trial."

"They will no doubt see a connection between Nee'lan's death and his. We will have to accelerate the timetable. Still, what does Da'an's death have to do with your reasoning?"

"Something I saw…that's all."

"And what was it that you saw?"

"Um…you…never told me what Da'an did to make you hate him so. We both know what end this will lead us to. There's no reason why we should carry our burdens with us when we carry this out."

Zo'or grinned wryly. The last person he wanted to unburden himself with was Sandoval.

Sandoval took the hint. "Why would they kill someone you already planned on eliminating and then blame you for his murder? Why not make an ally out of him? If their aim was always to destroy him, why didn't they just let him die the proper way?"

Zo'or smirked. "First of all, there is no proper way to die. There is however a proper way to kill. On the question of the priests, however, I will tell you this. To the priests, Da'an was nothing more than a catalyst. He was popular, compassionate, and beloved by all who knew him. Anyone who killed him would face the scourge of the public. Most likely, it was their intention to make an ally of Da'an. When he would not be turned however, they murdered him and then let the press put me on the scaffold. Hmm."

"What?"

"Not that Da'an is actually dead."

"You know?"

"Sandoval, everybody knows," Zo'or replied. "They know he survived his ordeal with the priests, whatever it was, and he escaped somewhere on Earth where his human friends hide him."

"Da'an said that you sought escape just like him. He said that you were stuck in a mind prison. I've heard other Taelons talk of this."

"Are you referring to those heretics who enticed Da'an with their delusions of freedom and grandeur?"

"And the Taelons who escaped the Moonbase during the beginning of the cleansing."

"We should have stopped the priests then when they were weak, but they distracted me with all of this nonsense within the press and within my own Synod. They are all traitors, and I intend to make an example of them."

"Does it have to be this way, Zo'or? Is there no other way? What if we escaped? You and I could step down and flee somewhere. You could disband the Synod and never return to this world again."

Zo'or glared at Agent Sandoval with furious eyes. However, the rest of his facial expression seemed empty and emotionless. "Are you patronizing me, Agent Sandoval?"

"I am doing nothing of the sort. I meant it. If escape is the only thing you seek—"

"It is not that simple. I just cannot let the priests win. I cannot let Da'an be right about me. I know what we plan to do is futile. The only reward it may offer us is vengeance, but I will not go down without a fight. The priests will not send me away quietly. They will not deprive me of my dignity."

"I grow tired of this battle Zo'or."

"Had you not failed miserably at obtaining Ma'el's relic, we could have avoided this altogether. After all isn't that why you came crawling back to me in shame saying that you would do anything I asked of you?"

"That's when you forced me to make this pledge to you."

"Are you saying that you did _not _believe in it when you shook my hand?"

"I see no need for this to continue," Sandoval scoffed, waving off his leader.

"Are you resigning, Agent Sandoval?" Zo'or said standing from his chair.

"I am…contemplating it," Sandoval said slowly walking from the bridge.

Zo'or felt his hands tremble, and his blush was almost black. "Damn it, Sandoval! We made a deal! Don't you dare turn your back on me now! Not after what you made me do!"

Sandoval turned sharply. "What I _made_ you do! You were the one who made me agree to this deal, and then you asked me to let you be the one to take them all out. You _begged_ me! You said you wanted all of their blood. You said you wanted to cleanse yourself of all of them and their treachery. What do you need me for, Zo'or? This is all you, not me."

"What do you want me to say?" Zo'or demanded antagonistically. But then he shifted his face away from Sandoval's gaze and covered his eyes as if they were in pain. His mouth was closed and his body barely declared any sort of pain at all. If was as if Zo'or had shifted all his pain to his eyes, and now he covered them. Those pale blue eyes—the only place he could hide the pain. He opened his mouth in a frosty whisper. "I will say anything."

Sandoval despised himself. This may have been his last chance to back out. This was his final chance at redemption. He had tried breaking his implant. It only resulted in the death of his wife. He had tried adopting the image that he had created for himself. He had attempted being the loyal servant to both Da'an and Zo'or. When he gave up one for the other, he realized just how foolish his mistake was. Maybe Da'an could have saved him. Maybe he could have freed him…the way he freed himself. He had tried siding with the Jaridians. Liam had ruined that for him. Even still, maybe he could go to Jaridia. After all, Lili had done so. Why would they not take him? For all he had done for them, it seemed like a good idea. That was his final option. This was his last chance. And when he stood at the gateway, he found himself running from it. He found himself returning back to the only master he had known. Why? Why follow such a cruel leader as Zo'or? Zo'or meant nothing to him! Then, why? Sandoval wanted to shoot himself.

Maybe it was because he realized that he and Zo'or were one and the same. They suffered the same torment outside and in. They had the same goals, in a sense. Freedom, control—freedom from the prison his own masters had created for him; control over his life and his actions. As he pondered this he realized that there was nothing for him out there. This is where he belonged. Here and only here was where he could redeem himself. At that point, Sandoval realized he would never find freedom outside. Only he could pave the path to freedom, and he could only do so here. It was a terrible goal, a bloody path—a path that he had started but had run from just as quickly. But he had sunk himself so deeply in the mud that all that was left for him was to claw his way through. If a few aphids died along the way, so what? He was going to be free, and upon attaining that freedom, he was going to make a terrible stand—terrible but somewhat noble. After all, Zo'or used this as revenge, but he could use it as redemption. He could do the one thing those fools in the Human Liberation Movement and the Atlantic National Alliance never had the courage to do. He liked this idea of himself. That was why he stayed. Seeing himself this way was the only image of himself he could somewhat tolerate.

"To think that it's come to this," Sandoval said solemnly. "I guess our ambitions were just too big for us."

"We are an ironic duo."

"Perhaps. Or perhaps this is some form of poetic justice. Fate has become our enemy. We tempted it, and we failed. This is our only honorable option, but it will be honorable to no one else but us."

"No one but you," Zo'or said. "I refuse to call this honor. This is a stand, and regardless of the fate that befalls me, I will be remembered for this."

"Yes…after all that is what everyone seeks somewhere along the line," Sandoval said to himself. "Everyone seeks to leave their mark in history somewhere, even if it is a mark of evil. We all just want to be remembered." He shook his head in some form of shame he could not describe. "I will follow you until the end, Zo'or," he said, facing his own distorted reflection.

"Thank you, Ronald," Zo'or said with a mix between a cruel and somber grin.

* * *

T'than took the news of Nee'lan's death with concern. Not for Nee'lan, of course. T'than had little time in his life for compassion. He was concerned for himself. Without a clear idea of who was responsible for the Taelon's death, T'than had no clue whether to be worried for his own safety. That was why when Liam offered a method to bring in more help T'than had accepted it gladly. He had heard nothing of this profiler, but she had come highly recommended from Hubble Urick, the White House, and Liam. Apparently she had assisted in Reyes's death and specialized in Taelon-style murders.

Malley and Liam were speaking to her right now, briefing her on Dr. Curzon's report. Curiosity had inclined T'than to observe her from his office. Her back was towards him, but he sensed something strange. Her movements and gestures disturbed him. Upon watching them turn towards his office, he rushed back to his chair to keep her from knowing how he had watched her. Malley was the only one who came.

"Where is she?" T'than demanded. "I will not have someone I have not even met protecting me."

"She's…um…she's kinda shy, I guess is the best way to put it. She's got some qualms about seeing you," Malley said. "Major Kincaid is trying to convince her. I guess she's just a little star struck."

"For her sake that had better be it," T'than said trying to see past Malley and get a look at her face. All he could see however was Liam's frustrated, flailing limbs as he tried to get her to at least walk in the room.

"T'than, I'm worried," Malley said.

"You are always worried," T'than said. "When I first chose you as my protector, you worried about walking in the rain with me…as if I was some kind of walking lightning rod."

Malley chuckled. "I guess I was pretty paranoid back then, but you worry about me too."

"I have reason to," T'than said. "You are diagnosed with a terminal illness. I am quite fine."

"About that…I guess I've always wondered why you chose me. Most Taelons saw my disease as a disability, regardless of how well I'm able to control it."

T'than smirked. "Are you going to tell me why you are so worried about me this time?"

"Well, I just—"

"Excuse me," Liam interrupted. "Um, she's okay now. She just got some jitters. She hasn't set foot in this embassy since she saw…um…well Da'an."

Her head hung low as he said it.

"T'than, this is Elaine Kingsley," Liam said.

The woman walked in with her head still hung low, her long hair covering every inch of her face.

"She does not gaze upon me," T'than said. "Does she fear me?"

"Elaine," Liam whispered quietly, shaking her shoulder.

Elaine lifted her head slowly. Her red hair seemed to brush behind her shoulders by itself. T'than suddenly felt a shiver run down his spine. This woman seemed hauntingly familiar, and her piercing eyes frightened him.

"T'than," Elaine acknowledged.

"It is…a pleasure," T'than said giving her the Taelon greeting.

"What is it you wish of me, T'than?" she asked simply.

"To assist in apprehending the murderer of Nee'lan," T'than answered, trying to regain his composure. "There is a possibility that all Synod members are at risk. Major Kincaid informed me of your work on the Reyes case. You were quite helpful in determining the weapon used to murder Reyes—a lead that unraveled the mystery of his death."

"Not quite," Elaine noted. "We never found the murderer."

"I doubt we ever will," T'than said. "Regardless, your assistance on the case is especially noteworthy."

"I need to see the crime scene," Elaine said distantly, brushing past Liam and out of the office.

"Elaine…uh…" Liam said trying his best to stop her, but she was too far away to hear him.

"Is she always like that?" Malley asked Liam.

"She's not the way she used to be," Liam said. "But I assure you, she is up to this."

"We shall see," T'than said, all the while trying to recall where he had seen those eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

3 – "You carry this illusion that they cannot die and that they feel no pain. I will prove to you once and for all that is just one of the dirty lies they have infected you people with."

_Renee's with me here now. We're in the infirmary waiting to hear something—anything. I've been here for hours. I would have stayed from the moment she was brought here, but…my hand…_

_I spoke to her for a few moments. I told her how sorry I was about all of this. She mumbled something to me. She said the motive should be honored, not the result. Ta'lay said she's just delusional from the episode. I'm not so sure, but I cannot deny that her sanity is fading. Link's in there now, but she barely acknowledged him when he first came. Hopefully they'll be able to take her back to the lair soon. Link wants to take her home, but every time he mentions "home" to her she screams like a banshee begging him to stay away from her. Yet he still remains by her side. He's a stronger man than I'll ever be._

_Renee wanted to stay with me, but she had to leave. After all, she still has a day job, and of course there are the funerals to attend. Malley and T'than's are in two days. But now Renee's here, and she hasn't said anything since she sat down. It feels like we're both holding our breath. _

_I just can't figure out why this ended the way it did. It's not fair to me, and it's not fair to her. She loved him so much._

"I can't believe it," I finally say to break the silence.

"I told you. There wasn't anything you could've done," Renee said taking my bandaged hand.

_My tension softens. It always does when she takes my hand. Her hands are soft and smooth. From her thin wrists to her clear-painted nails, they're smooth. She always makes my worst days better. She's my only peace in this crazed world. _

"Funeral arrangements have been made for Malley and T'than," Renee says.

"I know." _My voice is a little annoyed. How could I _not_ know?_

"Are you going?"

"Only because I liked Malley. What about Mi'en?"

"I don't know what Mi'en believes anymore. I don't think she does either. She cried when she woke up, and then she lied and said it wasn't because of that."

"This knocks our list of enemies down a notch."

"At what cost?"

"We don't know yet."

_I feel like crying right now, but I refuse to let it out. For me, the losses are still too near. In the few years I've lived on this planet, I've never felt so powerless. I've never wanted a parent near me so badly. _

_My thoughts drift to my mother's last words to me. She said she was shining a star for me somewhere. I rise and walk to find a window. Renee follows me. I can see concern in her eyes. She doesn't know what to think or how to feel. She doesn't know if she should be overjoyed or devastated. After all, despite how much we would like to think we hated them—Sandoval, the Synod, the Taelons in general—we don't. We can't. I think Da'an understands more than anyone, but Renee wants to understand. She wants to feel what I'm feeling so that she can ease my pain. She can't, and I don't want her to. I wouldn't wish this upon someone like her. She's already lost enough friends and family in her life. She doesn't need my losses adding to her burden._

_She does understand what it's like to lose a parent, though. That's one burden we both share. I guess that's why she desires to be so close to me. She knows from experience how badly a friend is needed in times like this—just some small shoulder to cry on. I contemplate all this as I walk slowly. I decide that it makes me angry._

_I finally found a window. I stop and search. Renee latches on to my arm. _

"Why won't it stop hurting?" she asks me in a voice so toneless I barely recognize it. "It shouldn't have happened this way. Nobody deserves this."

_I can't respond. I'm too busy searching for that star to put me back on the right path._

_I can't find it._

* * *

Liam, Elaine, and Malley met Sandoval at the crime scene. The remnants of Nee'lan's energy outline could only be seen via ultraviolet light. Sandoval and a group of FBI agents were setting up the light as well as taking samples of the crime scene. 

"So how did you get to be a profiler?" Malley asked Elaine casually on their way to the crime scene.

Elaine said nothing.

"What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?" Malley teased.

Elaine stopped and glared at him.

"Kidding, kidding," Malley said putting his hands up innocently.

"You get your sense of humor from your mother, and your disease," Elaine said simply, and she walked on.

Malley and Liam stood and stared at each other for a few moments in awkward silence.

"I…guess she really is a profiler," Malley said astonished that anybody knew that about him.

"She's not always like this," Liam said. "I don't know what it is about her, but she's been acting strange for the last few weeks. It's almost like she's a whole different person."

"Oh, does the major have a thing for this Elaine?" Malley asked nudging his shoulder.

"No! Dear God!" Liam exclaimed in total disgust that anyone would believe he cared for Elaine that way. "I told you who I want. She's just—she's like family to me. I've known her for years."

"Sure thing, Liam," Malley said unconvinced.

"I'm serious! There's nothing between us!" Liam cried.

"All right, I believe you," Malley said with a smirk. He walked on before Liam could respond.

Liam just shook his head in frustration and followed. When he caught up with Elaine and Malley, he found Elaine already observing the outline of Nee'lan's body where the ultraviolet light shone, not that she needed it.

"Ronald Sandoval, Miss…"

Elaine stared passively at the energy outline for a few seconds as if she had not noticed, but before Sandoval could try again she faced him and said, "Kingsley…Elaine Kingsley."

"Huh. Nice to meet you," Sandoval said slowly, shaking her hand. "Are you with the major?"

"I am with the FBI. I am a profiler."

"Really?" Sandoval said tonelessly. "I've worked with the FBI since before the companion arrival, and not once have I seen you."

"Maybe you have. You just don't remember."

Sandoval scoffed silently. He knew who she was, and she knew it too. The only debate he had now was whether or not to call her out or let her continue her pathetic charade and deal with her later. That was when he noticed Liam staring at him. He decided to hold off. He needed to get her alone with him.

"What do you make of this outline?" Sandoval asked professionally to keep Liam off his back.

"Why are there no Taelons assisting in this investigation?" Elaine asked totally ignoring his question.

"Zo'or asked for them not to assist," Sandoval said. "Besides, it is not unusual for this. Most of the companions do not specialize in crime investigation. There has been so little Taelon crime there is no need for it. Even if there was, the Commonality is most likely aware of the culprit."

"So it would seem," Elaine said tonelessly. "Your companion was left to die, but he only bled for five minutes. Whatever blade was used cut him deep and caused him to bleed quickly."

"True," Sandoval said. "Still, it is a horrible way to die."

"Indeed."

"What else?" Sandoval asked, now in the mood to test her.

"This blade in question is powerful," Elaine said. "There are few energy weapons that could do this kind of damage, blade or otherwise. Your murder weapon has been specially altered with a device that either weakens the companion or makes the blade finer and stronger."

"Or it could be a combination of both," Sandoval suggested.

"Yes…most likely. Your culprit works with the companions. Only a volunteer or a protector would have the knowledge to create such a weapon," Elaine said, "but then, you already figured all of this out."

"I have, so what else can you give me?"

This game between her and Sandoval began to bore her. "I will let you know," she said simply and left to speak with Liam.

Sandoval glared at her as she walked. She had changed somehow. That made him uncomfortable, a feeling he despised displaying around her.

Liam walked with Elaine into a separate empty room.

"This is a mistake," Elaine said harshly.

"I know it is, but Hubble insisted," Liam said. "You know. You were there."

"Hubble is a fool," Elaine said bitterly.

"Forget about Hubble," Liam said. "I'm worried about you. What's been with you lately? You've been acting strange ever since you came out of Ma'el's gateway."

"I have not been sleeping well."

"You had another argument with Link, didn't you?"

"I am staying in the lair. I need isolation now. I should not be here!"

"Isolation for what purpose?"

"They come to me when I am awake now. At first, they would only come at night when I slumbered. Now they come to me at random. I cannot control them. It frightens Rembrandt and it hurts Ariel's feelings."

"What do you see in your visions?"

"I can read the minds of others. Their voices are so loud now. I cannot make them stop. All day and night I hear the unending chatter of people's most intimate thoughts. It absolutely will not stop. It's driving me insane!"

"Hey, calm down," Liam said taking her into his arms.

"I cannot stop it," she panted. "I fear that Ma'el's gifts will start to interfere with my own. I must learn to control these visions before I hurt someone. I am a danger to you and these people. I want away from this place."

"I know how you feel—"

"You know nothing!" Elaine whispered bitterly.

"What can I do to help you?" Liam asked.

"Turn around," Elaine said quickly.

These words confused him, but Liam complied. What confused him even more was what he saw after he turned. As if on cue, Malley walked into the room.

"There's nothing more we can do here," he told them. "Let's get back to the embassy and plan the next move from there."

"Sounds good," Liam said, gazing upon Elaine. She had not turned to acknowledge Malley. He knew that as the days carried on, he would only worry about her much more. What was happening to his companion?

* * *

When they were finished with the crime scene, Sandoval returned to Zo'or, who had requested his presence after he had reported the basics of the crime scene over his communicator. Thinking about Da'an always seemed to remind him of the past—bitter memories, lost loves, foolish decisions, faces without names. 

Upon facing his death to a blood disorder, a face in the shadows had come from nowhere and given his own blood to save the dying agent. No one saw him, not even Dr. Curzon. The blood had saved Sandoval's life. His child. A child. It was a boy, Dr. Curzon had said. This must have meant that some time before Deedee's death, she had gotten pregnant. But why had she never told him? He had searched his memories using his CVI to try and ascertain when Deedee could have possibly been pregnant and had left him long enough to have the baby without him. He thought perhaps during the SI War. He had been overseas once or twice then, and the war had lasted about a year. Maybe it happened just before the war started. But then, the boy would only be about five or six, not the most ideal age for donating so much blood. Before the war, he and Deedee had dated for a few years. Perhaps she got pregnant then and gave the child up for adoption because they were not yet married. But why? She had loved him so much. Of course she would tell him even if they had not married. Such an event only would have made him marry her earlier. No. Deedee could not be the mother, so now thoughts passed to other women he had known.

This was the process that had frustrated him for months. It would begin with a passing thought about a friend, a family member, or a co-worker, and then it would turn to Deedee, and then this. He would keep playing it over and over in his head. He simulated situation after situation, but the details never added up. There was no way Deedee mothered his child, but he kept replaying their whole relationship in his mind. He wanted it to be her. He _needed_ it to be her! He needed it to be her because without Deedee, he would always end up with…Beckett! Siobhan Beckett. She had told him they were meant to come together, but a child? Impossible! He was more likely to have conceived with Deedee than with her! Yet that face still remained imbedded in his most subconscious memories. His deepest, most primitive sexual desires. It sickened him, but his instinct always drove him away from Deedee, steering him toward…her!

"You have something to report, Agent Sandoval?"

The toneless voice of Zo'or was for once welcome to him. He was glad that bastard had broken his concentration.

"Yes, T'than has enlisted the help of a profiler named Elaine Kingsley," Sandoval explained, "to assist with the investigation. I tested her abilities, she is quite talented."

"Why have I never heard of this woman?" Zo'or asked tonelessly.

"Major Kincaid knows her," Sandoval said. "Apparently they worked closely together on the Reyes case. Hubble Urick recommended her. She was one of the top in her class at Quantico, and Da'an personally asked her to work with the companions before you were even declared the new Synod leader."

"Major Kincaid is a resistance double agent," Zo'or said slowly. "Not that he will ever make anything of it. He had the perfect opportunity to leave me dead, and he passed it up to save me. He has not the strength to kill me. Harmless, witless coward."

"I am aware of the reasons you keep Major Kincaid on board," Sandoval said dismissively. "I am guessing from that statement that you believe this Elaine Kingsley is a resistance double agent as well."

"I will do you one better," Zo'or said with a wry smile. "It is her."

Sandoval fell silent, but Zo'or waited for him to gain the ability to speak again. "How did you know that? You did not even see her face."

"A resistance double agent brings a woman with him who seems to have come from nowhere. Then, you told me about the incident in the Andes and that Da'an is now a female. It is her, Agent Sandoval. Who else could it be? Why would she do this, though? What madness would compel her to return here of all places?"

"She is not herself. I could tell by the sound of her voice," Sandoval said, noting to himself the same monotonous tone coming from Zo'or.

"Enough of this!" Zo'or whispered. "You know what to do with all this. I need not tell you what you already know. I have…another reason for summoning you."

"Such as?"

"I was thinking about your arrangement yesterday. You suggested unburdening myself. I am ready to do so now, but…I wish to know about you first."

Sandoval was flabbergasted. In the four years he had worked with Zo'or, not once had the Taelon even expressed the mildest interest in his personal affairs. The entire aspect of Zo'or acting as a true companion unnerved Sandoval and even frightened him to an extent. Maybe Zo'or had his own set of issues that had been plaguing him for months, years even. This was their chance to get years' worth of tension off their chests to the only one they deemed worthy enough to receive.

"What do you want to know?" Sandoval asked slowly.

"Everything."

Sandoval made a wry grin. "I…am sorry Zo'or, but I will not do it. I need to hear you first."

"Why?" Zo'or whispered, glaring at him.

"Because I need to know you are worth unburdening to."

"What more proof do you need than—"

"Please, Zo'or. I need to hear you first."

Zo'or blushed in a hybrid emotion of embarrassment and frustration. "Fine then. Ask me anything."

Sandoval hesitated. A part of him was afraid to get inside Zo'or's head. Who was he kidding? The whole of his makeup was absolutely aghast at the idea! It was like listening to the thoughts of a monster. However, he was a monster in his own way, and he had been listening to his own perverted thoughts since the day his mind first composed a thought. In this despicable pool, he decided to dive. "Everything."

"Start with something basic," Zo'or said quickly, breaking from the awkward silence. "I am not quite ready to confess everything at once."

"Neither am I," Sandoval said, abhorring the idea that he had just decided to become Zo'or's personal therapist.

Sandoval had been tampering with an idea for a long time, an idea that would explain a lot about Zo'or and why he despised himself so much. "Who were your parents?"

Zo'or turned sharply. "You sneaky little bastard," he said with a sly undertone. "I should have known."

"What could be more basic than that, Zo'or? Everyone had a mother and a father at a time. I'd like to think the same principle applies towards a Taelon."

"Then…" Zo'or rose and walked to the virtual glass window. For what purpose, Sandoval did not know. "…I will say that you know both of my parents quite well. You worked closely with them both, one more so than the other, but still…"

"I see. But I was under the assumption that Taelons are asexual."

"How slowly we catch on. I was born at a time when Taelons had two genders. We were heterosexual just like you. I was the last Taelon born this way that is still alive, which is why some believe I am the last true Taelon. It is a title I have reluctantly accepted."

"Then, the Taelons younger than you were conceived of asexual reproduction."

"Indeed. However, the generations before me have had problems with reproducing, and the generations after me have lost all desire to procreate. That is why we are dying. There are too many of us dying, and too few taking our place. Overtime, this trend of sterility will lead to extinction."

"Have you any children?"

"One question at a time, curious little man," Zo'or said slowly and monotonously. "After all too much curiosity can have damaging effects."

"Then, I await my answer."

"_Your_ answer," Zo'or chuckled slyly, "as if I am giving it to you. You choose words wisely."

"I must, especially around you."

"I come from two strong families—one of strong genes and one of strong ancestry. However, the family of my secondary parent is not to be taken lightly. Leadership runs strong there as well. She is my mother now. She is an abomination, but she is my mother."

"Da'an! Da'an's your mother! I knew it!"

"You have unique insight."

"More like I know you all too well."

"I abhor love. It is my weakness. I never had the strength to get rid of her myself. I needed others to do it, others like you, but she prevailed."

Sandoval nodded. He had witnessed her sleekness firsthand.

"It became her weakness as well. It is what kept her alive through such a terrible experience." Suddenly Zo'or blushed and grew distant. "She should have killed herself. She should have been driven mad. Her dying in front of me would have been better. Anything would have been better!"

"Than what?"

Zo'or snickered in a tone that made Sandoval shiver. "Fool."

"I want to know. Everything."

Zo'or sealed all the entrances and even cut the pilots' view of the bridge. They could not hear him, he knew, but still…the idea of foreign eyes watching them at such a time. What a gift it would be to be free of the Commonality right now! …Abomination…

"It was a war of words when I was a child. That's all it was. For thousands of years, we had been out of contact. It all started when our empires finally collided. Isolated incidents occurred, and people would die occasionally. They would always threaten war, but neither side had the spine to make due on their threats. Then, the massacre happened. Our capitol was bombed. That was how Ka'li died, my great-grandparent. Then, the terrorists used the incident to hack into our portal system and invade. They came like cockroaches. Nothing we did could stop them. They just went from building to building killing or capturing anyone they saw. The diplomats were being evacuated. Quo'on and Da'an were in separate areas. I was with Quo'on watching him conduct some diplomatic business when it happened. He grabbed me and we ran to the nearest transport we could find. However, a squad of Jaridian terrorists stopped us. He hid me before they could see me, but the delay got him captured. They beat him trying to ascertain where he had hidden me. Then, he saw me. That was the first time I ever looked into a pair of their eyes. Some are dark blue, much like the blue plaguing the cleansed. Some are green. Others, however, are the color of fire. These fiery eyes mesmerized me. I could not help but stare. Before he could grab me, however, he died. To this day, I do not know how. The others fled in fear, and then I heard Quo'on scream the name of my other parent. He knew the one who had done this. That was when he grabbed me, appearing from nowhere like a phantom, to confront Quo'on. Quo'on made me swear never to tell. I have kept that promise, until now."

"She was a telekinetic. Wasn't she?" Sandoval asked him.

"I suppose that is what he was," Zo'or said. "I asked him one time. Only once, I asked him, and he said he had no idea what I was talking about."

Sandoval walked to stand beside Zo'or in front of the window. "I've seen her do it. She did it to me once."

"In Ma'el's labyrinth."

"No…no, earlier, but that was the only time, until she freed herself."

"The priests probably suppressed it. It was the first time he ever frightened me. From there, we continued to run. There was only one transport left, and we were so close—so close that I could hear the engines roaring. Then, more Jaridians appeared. They came to avenge the death of their comrade. Quo'on freed himself of their grip, but he and I did not. He tried to pry me free. He did not even attempt to save himself. All he wanted was for me to get away. I probably would have too if Quo'on had not left me to board the transport. If he had even made the slightest effort to help me, I would never had to have borne witness to it. That pathetic, spineless swine! He was a coward! He always was. He was until the day he died. He sickened me! He could have saved me if he had just made the transport wait a little longer. Instead he left without us. As Da'an tried to free me, he was knocked unconscious. Then, they did it to me."

"What did they do to you?"

"Me? Absolutely nothing, which is a worse fate then I would have suffered had they done something to me."

"What did they do to her?"

Zo'or snickered again, which now made Sandoval curious as to why he would be laughing at something he found so horrible.

"Are you familiar with the concept of psychological torture?"

"…I am…I was…taught to use these interrogation methods in the SI War. The war ended before the torture did. The war always ends before the torture."

"They interrogated him for information of where the diplomats would flee. They knew he would never crack, and when they discovered physically torturing a Taelon is a mute concept, they resulted to use psychological torture. They used me like a pawn to drive him mad. It started off as little things. They would convince him that they would let him see me, and change their minds at the last minute. Sometimes, they just locked him in a room with no sustenance, the speakers blaring with strange sounds to prevent him from resting. Still, he did not falter. All he did was think of me and pray. They would irritate him with little annoyances throughout the day. They kept telling him the irritation would stop if he just told them what they needed to know. When he did not comply, they would lock him in a room, tie him to a chair, and make him watch strange things on a screen. Sometimes, they would connect him to a machine that produced strange uncomfortable sensations—annoying little shocks, the constant endless dripping of cold water, things that made him itch and tickle. Then to close the day, they would bring me to the window, but they would never let him see me. When he still did not crack, they resulted in drugging him. The drugs bombarded his mind with bizarre hallucinations, contrasted with peaceful images of people close to him. The more he fought, the worse the hallucinations became, and I had to watch as he lost all concept of reality. One time he attacked me, thinking I was one of 'them' he said."

"H-How did she recover?" Sandoval breathed.

"How the devil should I know?" Zo'or asked tonelessly. "Our soldiers eventually rescued us, after many days. Then, the healers isolated him from me for twenty-six days. When he returned, he was completely normal. He was the Taelon I recalled him to be. Then for some reason…he avoided me. He had gone through so much to protect me. In the torture facility, he would have given anything for just one look at me. Then, after endless days of being apart from me…he avoids me like a plague. We were barely parent and child anymore. We were not even acquaintances. I…I never understood why this happened, but I hated him for it. I never forgave his neglect. Now, however, I believe that I finally understand. You see, Agent Sandoval, I frightened Da'an to an extent. His emotions had made him vulnerable to the Jaridians. They had made him weak. I made him weak."

"How did you come to this…understanding?"

"Because upon discovering the true source of his weakness, I discovered the true source of mine. _Da'an_ makes _me_ weak, Agent Sandoval. I lack the courage to do away with that wretch of a parent. I knew my only path to true glory and dominion was through his death, yet I lack the courage to kill him myself. He was my only rival, the only one worthy enough to depose me. That is why I hate him. I hate him for making me weak."

There was another moment of silence as Sandoval absorbed all the knowledge. The whole time, Zo'or stood erect like a statue. He had been acting like this for quite some time. He had ever since he convinced Sandoval to make this pact with him. All of his options had finally been used up, and with those options went what little feeling he originally had. Now, all that was left inside was cold rage. It was only a matter of time before the rage was unleashed, but he would never take it out on Sandoval. They both knew this.

"So…is there anything you would like to remove from your chest?" Zo'or asked. "Anything to unburden?"

Sandoval hesitated. How could he hesitate? Zo'or had held his end of the bargain, so why was he holding back? What had he to hide? "I have a son."

Zo'or's eyes focused on Sandoval more firmly. His hands balled into two stiff fists. He found the contrast of his physical firmness and his sardonic thoughts of Sandoval seducing innocent young women humorous. However, that was not the reason why his hands were in two fists.

"You recall my near death from disease."

"You never quite told me what that was."

"It was a rare genetic blood disorder that could only be cured from a transfusion from the blood of a first degree relative, a parent or a child. Well, my parents are dead. I watched them both on their deathbeds myself. Therefore, I have a son, and I have no clue who the mother is."

"Greed, wrath, envy—pride most of all—all these I could see. But lust? I had no idea."

"He saved my life, and I can't even put a face on him."

"Give me something more. That is not what plagues you."

"There are gaps in my memory that I can feel. They involve the late Agent Beckett."

"Surely she is not the mother. The boy would be much too young."

"That is what scares me. I think something happened to me involving Ha'gel, something between Siobhan and me. She died before she could tell me."

Zo'or's fist slammed against the window.

"Zo'or! Are you all right?" Sandoval asked urgently.

"Why should even the lowliest of humans be allowed to give life but not me!" Zo'or growled. The sudden outburst appeared to pain him. Sandoval watched without fear but with a shred of concern when Zo'or's eyes started shifting from blue to red. "It's not fair! When so many humans breed at whim—some even by pure accident—yet I cannot even produce fruitful genes to pass on. _I_ had an empire! _I _have a legacy! Yet…there will be no one to continue my success. A pox on that wench! She cursed me in so many ways! This is all her fault! These are all her sins, and I am the one to pay for them! The devil uses me as a pawn to hurt her by making me a weak, fruitless reject of a leader that nobody loves. She never loved me."

Sandoval wanted to strangle himself right now for doing this, but he could not deny his own reflection. He took Zo'or's arms and helped him sit on the floor, that poor fallen soul, in terrible pain. He watched him blushing, panting and grunting as if he was fighting something inside him. Sandoval could tell it was something primitive, something instinctual and murderous. He had used it once. It was the whole reason why he and Zo'or had made this pact. Perhaps Zo'or had been trying to hide it for centuries. Perhaps every Taelon had it to an extent, and the loss of all of his power and the knowledge of his imminent demise had released it. It was Sandoval's job to keep it in check until the time finally came to really use it Therefore Sandoval watched him. He even comforted Zo'or to an extent, with Zo'or all the while trying everything in his power not to look upon the only source of compassion he would ever know. The red in his eyes subsided, and slowly he turned to acknowledge his…friend.

"Tell me about your parents, Agent Sandoval," Zo'or said solemnly. "Did your parents love you?"

Sandoval did not answer the question. He knew Zo'or did not want to know that answer anyway. Instead, Zo'or folded his arms and sat them on his two knees. Sandoval moved a little closer to Zo'or and sat cross-legged. They sat staring at the blankness of space. The beautiful blue planet of Earth floated mightily in front of the window like a light beaconing from heaven. But Zo'or and Sandoval averted their eyes. They chose the cold, black emptiness of space.


	4. Chapter 4

4 – "They have no heart and they have no soul. I know because they cannot function with those who do. For that reason, they will steal away the souls of others."

_Renee and I. Where do we stand in all of this? It's hard to tell. I love her…at least I think I do. She's always been there for me. I think she loves me, but I'm still uncertain. Malley's right, though. She deserves better than me. I toy with her emotions because I'm too afraid to express my own. I just cannot forget what I was like before now. If only I knew then what I do now. I hurt Auger because I couldn't control my emotions. In fact, I nearly killed him. I can understand why the priests are so afraid of emotions. They can be deadly tools if used in an inappropriate manner. Because of all of this, I fear being myself around Renee. I know I shouldn't. I should feel comfortable around her, but I can't shake this terrible feeling that I'm not good enough for her._

_Hypothesis: Renee and I belong together, and I should give into my feelings. _

_Logically, I analyze the situation. Renee is and always will be the breadwinner in this relationship. She makes more money than me. She has the bigger house—Who am I kidding? I have no house! I live in a damn room below a nightclub. I make enough money, but not nearly as much as Renee. I actually care more about humanity than I do my own job, especially since Da'an left. Renee does too, but her job will always come first. It's the best and only cover she has for what she does at nights. Obviously, the socio-economic gap between us is immense. How do you have a relationship with a woman who makes more money than you without coming across as a freeloader? The same logic works in the opposite situation. If the man is filthy rich and the woman is of a lower class, she's a slut. If the woman is rich and the man is in a lower class, he's just a boy toy and a freeloader. I'm not comfortable in all the seminars, balls, and ceremonies Renee takes me to. Suits are itchy to me, I have to use a clip tie because I couldn't tie a real one to save my life, I despise truffles and caviar, and everybody who attends those things is a snob. I'm not even comfortable looking at Renee's maids and butlers wandering around her house right now. I only put up with it because I care for Renee, but how much more of this can I take? Can this work? Is Malley right? Is Renee really out of my league?_

_Emotionally, I analyze the situation. Renee is more expressive of her feelings towards me. I don't know why. It started when we returned from Nye's ritual. She said she felt like the time we had with people is precious, and we should let each other know everyday how much we care. She only told this to me, and she only acts this way around me. It's a sign I should act too. I should return her emotions and acknowledge my own feelings for her. Funny how just over a year ago, she was stressing the exact opposite. "What's the point of getting to know people if you're never gonna see them again?" What changed? I should return Renee's feelings. I do inside. She's the only sanity in this madness…well, she is now. Why in the hell can't I just give into my passions and spend one romantic night with her? How easy and how sweet it is, yet I am static and cowardly! Does she deserve a man completely out of touch with himself and his emotions? Does Renee deserve a coward?_

_Ethically, I analyze the situation. Ethically? Am I stupid? Love is beyond ethics! Every poem and romantic novel acknowledges that. No, but rather passion is beyond ethics. I'm having trouble deciding whether love and passion are one and the same. I doubt they are, but if they are not the same, which begets what? Does love beget passion, or does passion beget love? Maybe love is a dignified passion. That would explain how love lasts even when passion fades away. Love is the everlasting product of a relationship. It is the greatest gift you can give your partner. If love is the product of our relationship, ethically I should give into my feelings. Renee loves me deeply. Out of respect and dignity, I should take the next step and marry her or, at the least, establish some form of romantic relationship. But on the same token, I am more concerned about humanity as a whole than my own self. It is my duty to free the human race from the illusion the Taelons have impressed upon them. My duty is to save the world. My duty is to open humanity's eyes and be the man Ha'gel meant for me to be. I am the Kimeran solution, but where do I as an individual stand? Where does any relationship with anyone stand in this? My ethical priorities are not fully straight, but initial analysis states that my duty comes before my pleasures. Business before pleasure. After all, humanity will not wait for me._

_Conclusion: Even though Renee and I care for each other deeply, I believe time to take care of our problems at hand is needed before we establish a relationship. Emotionally, ethically, and logically, there are way too many barriers. Acting too early would hurt us more than we already are. Acting too late, however, will result in loss of interest. Renee will give up on me and find someone who is ready to commit. Someone like Joshua Doors. She will find someone who can treat her better than I ever will. I don't want to lose her, either way, but I don't want to feel rushed into this. I don't want to feel like I have to do this. _

_Plus…all the time I have been analyzing this, my mind drifts to Da'an…_

* * *

Hy'li the replacement of Ba'hor had been warned of the possible threat, but he displayed no concern. All he did was take his assigned protector with him everywhere he went. His protector was quite young, but not inexperienced. Hy'li knew the man had a name, but considering he had only been with him for a few days, he had little time to memorize it. He just called the man protector. Unlike his fellow Synod members, Hy'li did not waste his time getting involved with humans. As T'than had taught him, one cannot be a student to inferior intellect.

His fellow companion, Bu'ma was with him. Bu'ma was the Western European Companion. His protector was not with him just because Bu'ma did not trust her with such vital information. At least Hy'li's protector would keep his mouth shut. His protector had taken her alleged allegiance to Zo'or way too seriously. She told him everything that went on in his embassy, just as Zo'or had requested. She was a straight up, by-the-book kind of woman. He hated her kind. Funny, though. Hy'li would have loved to have a protector like her.

Right now, they were on their way to meet T'than.

"Wait!" the protector said. "I think I heard something."

"That would be feedback from your implant," Hy'li said haughtily. "Out of my way."

Those were the last words Hy'li would speak. For seconds before he reached the portal he was stabbed. The protector immediately reacted, but it was all for naught. He was thrown across the hall by a powerful blast, a blast that killed him before he even hit the floor. Bu'ma had made a mad dash for the alarm, and did manage to pull it. However, he was dead before the volunteers came to his rescue. Not one of them saw the attacker.

* * *

Elaine should have killed Hubble for this! She should not be here, especially at night. However, Hubble had sent her to download the monthly password in the embassy files and send it to Auger. He thought that as a psychic, she would be able to do it. If he only knew! She was not that kind of psychic! Terrible images had been plaguing her, but she had not the heart to tell Liam. What it was about, she did not know. She would have to dig deeper. Realizing she was breaking Ma'el's clear rule, she would have to dig deeper. She had not the time to wait. So much pressure to come up with a face! I hate him! This is not my power. It is his. It belongs to me, yet he curses me with it. And for what? A destiny that is not my own! It is his destiny! His vision! I do not want to be a pawn! _I am not your pawn, brother!_

Her brutal thoughts were interrupted by a set of cold hands that pulled her into an even colder body.

"Did you think you could escape my senses?" a raspy voice whispered harshly. "I know who you are, traitor. I could sense it the moment you walked in my office." He pulled her hair back, forcing her to gaze upward into his face.

"Damn you, T'than!"

"Abomination!" he shot back. "I could kill you right here and right now, something your pathetic child never had the spine to do, Da'an."

"I speak to a dead man," Da'an whispered.

"Tell me, did you willingly submit to Nye's temptations, or were you forced into this abomination?"

"I make my own choices," Da'an said tonelessly.

"So I see."

"But that is not what you want, is it? Or else you would have killed me. You do not fear Nye. She is harmless."

"I know the true reason why you are here. Did you think we were so blind? We know of your former protector's affiliations with the resistance."

"Which one?"

"Do not play games with me!"

"Who plays games? There are two former protectors of mine who had affiliations with the resistance: Boone and Kincaid. I want to know which one you are referring to. After all, there is no need to fear a dead man."

"Then, you admit Kincaid is a traitor just like you."

"Admit? He is the one who talked me into it, but why should I bother explaining my actions to a fellow dissenter?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I can hear your dirty thoughts!" Da'an whispered harshly. Her eyes turned red. "You can't stand."

T'than suddenly felt his legs give way, and he plummeted to the floor. He tried to stand, but his legs were too heavy. They were like two lead weights.

"He lifts his right hand and stiffens his fingers like the talons of a hawk," a strange voice coming from Da'an's mouth said.

His mind was straining to disobey, but something in Da'an's made him follow her directions. His right hand stiffened into a claw-like position.

"He digs into his left shoulder as if it is a scrap of meat."

T'than tried everything to keep his hand from obeying. He even tried closing his eyes to prevent his own mind from seeing it. But he knew his attempted failed when he felt the pain of his own hand digging into his shoulder. "S-Stop it," he whispered, trying to fight the pain. "You have made your point. Enough!"

Da'an shook her head and watched T'than release his own shoulder.

He could have called security at any time, but he did not. Instead he stood, allowing his body to heal the wound, and gazed into the eyes of his former associate. "You have changed. You are not the Da'an I once knew."

"I am nothing. I am the whole. I am the river, the rain, and the sky. Split the sky with lightning and I am there. Melt the ice with fire, and I rise."

"Rain, steam—water. The old legend of the water god," T'than recalled. "He and the other gods of the elements of life got in a contest. Everyone thought he would lose because he was so tranquil and peaceful. It was what made him so nonviolent. Water did not believe in battle. Water believed all problems could be solved diplomatically. They thought he lacked the courage to battle them. Wind, Earth, Fire and Lightning all dealt their hands against him, using their most powerful tricks. Earth tried to bury him in an earthquake, but instead, he eroded Earth. Fire tried to melt him, but he rose as steam. Lighting tried to slice him into pieces, and he thought he had succeeded. However, Water fell as rain and reconstituted himself. Wind tried to blow him away, but Water returned as a tidal wave. It was Ma'el's favorite legend, not so?"

"We all knew Ma'el."

"Those are Ma'el's gifts. Telepathy, foresight, and the ability to control the thoughts of others. But how?"

"Your pride and your greed overpower your logic."

"But not my astuteness. It was you who sabotaged Ma'el's labyrinth and left my poor agent Deladier for dead."

"You offered her riches beyond her wildest dreams. Did you ever intend to make good on your offer?"

T'than laughed. "Not in the least. I may have given her a better rank and a better position with me. I may have even spared her when humanity's hour finally came. But riches and wealth? No way. I would never commit such audacious blasphemy."

"You consider money and wealth blasphemy, yet you consider lying and cheating a way of life. You carry the aural odor of a hypocrite."

"While I may not value money or wealth, I do value power. To take out one whole side of a mountain and walk away as if it were nothing, to control the thoughts of others, to see things before they happen—that is real power. You must be tormented. Yet…you could be of some use to me. You could assist me where Deladier failed."

"Indeed," Da'an said.

"Your powers of foresight could aid our cause tremendously."

"You are an agent of the priests. It was you, wasn't it? You killed Agent Reyes because the priests told you to."

"I would have liked to, but it was not me. You know this. You can read minds."

"Just because I can read minds, it does not mean that I choose to! People like you. Always planning, always scheming. Your minds are chaotic with hundreds of thoughts speaking at once! Hundreds of damnable voices coming at me in every direction! They won't shut up!"

The lights in the embassy all went off at once. In the dark, T'than could see Da'an's red eyes glowing. She had dropped to her side and began jerking and spasing. In his office, the small hanging pipes where T'than's energy shower came through ripped from their holdings and crashed on the floor. Da'an's right arm clawed at the floor as another vision blazed through her mind. It was a terrible vision, but it was a clear vision. She understood now. She understood what her previous visions meant.

T'than kneeled over and took Da'an by the arms. She jerked violently as he pulled her back to his chest.

"You would like to learn how to control this power of yours, not so?" T'than whispered. "I can help you do this. I can introduce you to the priests. They can help you."

"You live in a prison. I can't live in a prison," Da'an said quickly, as she worked to recover from her vision.

"It is not a prison, Da'an. It is our security. You once saw as I do, you know this. You were their best student."

The lights in the embassy flickered back on.

This time, Da'an winced from the thoughts and images coming to her from T'than's mind. "You-You know. You have been cleansed. You are just as I was."

"I was one of the first," T'than said calmly. "I was cleansed before I even came to this planet. When Zo'or began to stray from the agenda, I was sent to dispose of him and put our species back on track. However, Zo'or proved much more…slippery than I had anticipated. Your security on him is quite strong. But you…hmm, the priests told me about you. They told me everything. Why do you think I told you that my original purpose was to make you the new leader of the Synod in Zo'or's place? I meant it, Da'an. That was always the priests' plan from the beginning. But Quo'on and his sub-par family betrayed the priests and elected Quo'on as the new leader when Ka'li was killed. This was the first mistake. Then, when Quo'on finally died, they chose Zo'or over you because they felt you were a threat to their success. The Zunus'to hatred of the Amo'qui apparently never goes away. That was their second mistake. And then, you left with Nye, something the priests never imagined you would do. As you can see, Da'an, the priests and I are quite tired of mistakes."

"What are you going to do with me?" Da'an panted.

"They still believe that you can be saved, Da'an," T'than said. "There is still hope for you. Even after all you have done, the priests are still willing to let you rejoin the Commonality."

"No one can save me," Da'an whispered.

"Ma'el's gifts are overpowering your own will. They are driving you mad."

Da'an suddenly let out a deep gasp. Her eyes were fully blue now, and she panted as if she had emerged from a terrible nightmare. "Oh no. You have to let me go. I have to stop him. I have to save him!"

"We can help you, Da'an."

"You would never help me," Da'an said firmly, jerking out of T'than's arms only because he let her. "You just want to use me to kill Zo'or. I will not help you do that. You will have to kill me."

"That is not true at all. We both want Zo'or to be punished for his sins. We want him to face that UN trial, you of all people especially. After all, you will be the main subject of the trial. From what the UN companion has told me, the only thing keeping them from arresting Zo'or now is paranoia over lack of sufficient evidence to convict him. If your desire is to see Zo'or live, I can help you do that. I can convince the Synod and the UN to let him live. Let us work together. Let us work this one time to put him away once and for all."

"And you will take Zo'or's place as leader of the Synod."

"No, not me. That decision is left to the discretion of the priests. But they will teach you to control Ma'el's powers. They can save you from insanity. I swear that no harm will come to you or your allies. All the priests want is you."

"For what purpose? What is your agenda?"

"I will not insult your intelligence, Da'an. You know damn well about the agenda. What you do not know is its method of execution. Join me, and I will tell you everything you wish to know."

"Don't touch me!" Da'an jerked when T'than tried to take her.

"Da'an, what can those humans do to help you with this? What can the Lost Ones do? What will they give you? Drugs? Therapy? You might as well put a Band-Aid on a bullet wound. What comfort will they offer you through your trials? Will they hold your hand and pray that everything will turn out all right in the morning? Will they give you a shoulder to cry on? Humph. Animals could provide better comfort. We can give you control. We can make the visions stop."

"I don't believe you. You are lying to me."

"Come here. Let me prove it to you," T'than said softly, pulling Da'an into his arms and stroking her hair in an eerie sign of affection. Da'an could see his hand turn blue and he began chanting something bizarre in Eunoia.

The echoes suddenly silenced, and Da'an could feel her own body relaxing. She slowly faced T'than with a look of awe in her eyes.

"What did you do?" she asked.

"I filtered those terrible thoughts in your mind into the Commonality," T'than said with a strange grin. "I told you that I could help you."

"So that is your solution? You will not help me control Ma'el's powers. You will just filter them into the prison, just as you did with mine. How is that any more useful from the therapy offered by the humans?"

"The priests will no longer suppress your powers. They cannot afford to. They will just let you share control with our fellows. We will all share it as a community. What better reason to have control of the Commonality than for sharing its benefits with our brethren? That is all that brotherhood really is after all."

"Why aren't you marked?" Da'an asked him.

"I am marked," T'than said. "You just cannot see it. I doubt the Synod would have trusted me if I had the mark borne plainly on my face or my hands for all to see unlike these newer cleansed."

Da'an chuckled. "This is pathetic. I am actually considering your offer. What would we have to do?"

"Everything is set up. When Zo'or least expects it, we will act. All we need is the UN's approval and to stop this killer before he eliminates all my allies. However, we are having trouble doing that. You have a man leading the Atlantic National Alliance, a man who works closely with both the Taelons and the president."

"Hubble Urick," Da'an nodded.

"That is the one. A man of that importance no doubt has stockpiles of evidence on projects Zo'or has managed. If we could convince him to turn over those documents to the UN, we would finally have hard evidence to corroborate witness testimony on all the ways he has wronged humanity. We could even use Mr. Urick himself as a material witness."

"Why not just turn over your own documents? The Synod actively approved and even participated in Zo'or's projects."

T'than chuckled. "Let's just say I plead the Fifth on that one."

Da'an shook her head.

"If Mr. Urick turns over his documents, the priests and the UN will be able to give the rest of the Synod a full pardon. Zo'or will be the only one prosecuted."

"Then, Hy'li, Bu'ma, Nee'lan—these were all your allies."

"Nee'lan was a pansy. He would have gone along with it either way. Hy'li and Bu'ma are just a few of my agents. All the same, three allies dead—all Synod members. I highly doubt this is coincidental. Someone is killing Synod members—my allies. I need to know who and why. You can give this to me. You can see things others can only imagine. I need your mind and your eyes."

"There is nothing I can offer you that you could not find yourself," Da'an said. "If you really want to find the killer, you need to isolate the Synod from any and all humans. The only person who could even get close enough to the Synod members to kill them would be a high-ranking human volunteer or companion protector. I doubt there are many of those out there. As for Hubble Urick, he will never work with you. If the American government turns over its own copies of the documents, it will be admitting to every American citizen that it looked the other way when Zo'or was tormenting their people."

"America's copies of the documents are protected under the UN law. The president can argue for the judges not to disclose the origin of the documents nor their contents to the general public under the idea that doing so would expose military secrets and therefore endanger the general public of the nation from whence they came. The public would only know that the documents came from _a_ nation, not _this_ nation. As long as the judge and the judge only is able to review them however, it is enough to convict Zo'or. As for the killer, I have a pretty good idea of who it is. However, because he is so close to Zo'or, I need to catch him in the act. It is the only way a conviction will hold on him. You can tell us where and when he will strike. Then, an army of our best volunteer agents will arrest and detain him. That is all you have to do. An excellent start would be telling me who is next on this man's list. I know you know."

Da'an chuckled. "I know many things. All right. I will get involved in your little coup."

"What about the killer? Who is next on his list?"

Da'an shook her head. "Do you suddenly feel a tremor?"

Almost immediately after Da'an asked, T'than blushed in shock and turned away from her. He felt the disturbance in the Commonality. Two more of his fellows were dead.

"That's who is next," Da'an said.

"But how?"

"The whole time you sat here arranging to make a deal with me, your killer snuck into two embassies via portal and slaughtered two more of your fellows."

"How could he do that?"

"He has help," Da'an said sadly. "The Synod members are not safe on Earth anymore. If you truly care for the safety of your allies, you will get them as far away from this planet as you can."

"I cannot do that," T'than said. "We still must meet to receive the documents. I propose a compromise. Let us set up a meeting on the Moonbase. We can draw the killer out and receive the documents at the same time."

"You need Zo'or's approval for that," Da'an said.

"He'll do it," T'than said. "It will not be long before the killer comes after him too."

Da'an scoffed. "Shows what you know."

"What would you have me—"

"Done," Da'an said sharply, and she marched out of his office.

T'than followed her with uncertainty in his mind. Apparently there were two killers, and she knew the identities of both of them.

* * *

Liam had absolutely no clue how to react when Renee invited him over to her house. More like her mansion, Liam thought. Lucky stiff. He had never been invited over to her house before. He tried to take this as a sign of growth in their relationship. Still as the butler escorted him and his bottle of wine into the large dinning room, he couldn't help but reflect back on Malley's words. Liam was not used to all of these riches. These lavish surroundings with artwork hanging from every open space, a bust or a sculpture set in hallway, white carpeting on a marble floor, a garden outside as big as the White House front lawn, an Olympic-sized pool built like a large fountain, and a front lawn with its own large fountain as the beautiful centerpiece…and he hadn't even seen her luxury apartment downtown, and her summer estate in Miami. This was getting way over his head.

"Hey," Renee greeted, kissing his cheek.

"How are you doing?" Liam asked, handing her the bottle of wine.

"Oh, thanks. Mmm, good year," Renee said observing the bottle. "It's just you and me tonight. I had the cook make pork chops. You should have seen the awkward silence in the room. 'Not Kobe beef, madam?' 'No lamb chops or veal perhaps?' Nope, cook. Just plain, ordinary pork chops."

"Sounds good," Liam said trying to laugh at the joke all the while wondering where to sit in the huge dining table.

Renee chuckled and led him to his seat, which thankfully was right next to her. The butler put Liam's wine bottle in a bucket of ice and situated it between their places at the table.

"You didn't have to go through all of this," Liam said nervously, "just to have dinner with me. It's me. It's Liam."

"That's why I wanted to do it," Renee said. "You look tense. Are you nervous?"

"No, of course not," Liam lied, trying to get it out as quickly as possible to convince her and himself. It didn't work. "God, am I that obvious?"

"What's to be nervous? It's me. It's Renee."

"It's not you. I've been thinking about some things."

"Like what?"

"Well, um, you see," Liam stuttered. "You know all of this is…um…you and I are…"

"Yeah?" Renee pressed.

"I'm worried about Da'an," Liam sighed.

"Oh," Renee said in disappointment.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that," Liam said.

"No it's all right. Da'an's your friend. You're worried about her. You and me both are," Renee said, as their salads got situated in front of them. "I don't know what in the hell has been with her lately, but it's like talking to a brick wall with her. She had absolutely no concept of reality now."

"She and Link aren't speaking to each other," Liam said. "Ariel's with him now, and Da'an stays at the lair. Auger says she spends most of her time locked in a room talking to herself."

"It's obvious Ma'el's powers," Renee said. "She keeps talking about these visions about something terrible happening. Whenever she receives a vision, she falls into this trance where she just lets any and every word she can think of come out of her mouth regardless of how much sense it makes. It's disturbing."

"She's trying to drown out the voices in her head. I think we need to take her off this case. You know, give her some time to get herself together. She's scaring the co-workers too, and I think the Taelons are starting to suspect something."

"I can talk to Hubble about it," Renee said. "But you've got to break the news to her. She'll only listen to you."

"She barely even does that now," Liam said. "But she wants off this case."

"Yeah," Renee said passively.

There was a moment of silence while both tried to think of something to say.

"Two more Synod members are dead," Liam said. "It's five now."

"Who?"

"The East Asian Companion and the Middle Eastern Companion. The same murder weapon, but both died in their embassies, just a few minutes apart."

"Which means?"

"Which means that the killer probably isn't a technician. No lowly technician is allowed enter the embassies. The killer's someone higher up, someone like a companion protector or a volunteer officer. Sandoval's interrogating the volunteer officers. It's only a matter of time before he gets to me."

"And your whole secret could be blown wide open. You've never been interrogated before. We've got to find the guy before he gets to you. Do you know anyone with a vendetta?"

"No one. Most of the protectors are loyal to their companions."

"But are they loyal to the others?"

"While I think this is a loner, I don't think he's doing this for the sake of doing it. I think he's being controlled. He's a pawn."

"Which means either Zo'or or T'than is controlling him."

"Which also means that all the Synod members being eliminated are servants of the priests."

"So if we can get a list of Synod members who are blatantly siding with the priests, we'll know who's next. Excellent. You need any help?"

"I may if Da'an backs down."

"She will. I don't think she wants to be there anyway." Liam sighed.

"What's wrong now?" Renee asked concerned that he had not touched his salad throughout the whole conversation.

"Mom died around this time," Liam said.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Renee said. "I wish I'd have gotten the chance to know her."

"Yeah. You know when I think about my mother, I think about…my father."

Renee rolled her eyes. "And when you say that, I'm guessing you're referring to Sandoval."

"The Espelons don't trust us anymore. They've all researched into my past and have listened to the rumors about us. They call me corrupt and arrogant. They think that I'm high on myself. Funny, because I accuse Sandoval of the same thing. Does that make me like him?"

"Hell no," Renee said. "The Espelons are paranoid because this is a new planet and a new war for them. They don't know how to feel. They'll come around. You shouldn't let them get to you. I don't let them get to me. A lot of the Espelons are sweet, caring people who just want to help in any way they can. We can't help it if a few bad apples got caught in the mix."

"True."

"Let's try to move on to something lighter than this," Renee said. "It's our night together. Let's enjoy it."

"Yeah. Hey, thanks for doing this," Liam said.

"It's all for you, Liam."

As the hours continued, Liam found himself growing more and more comfortable. All his worries and his fears seemed to fade away like a mirage. Just being this close and this intimate with Renee assured him more and more that this was the woman for him.


	5. Chapter 5

5 – "You still feel sympathy for these god-like creatures. Just because their make is not flesh and blood, you assume that entitles them to the status of a deity. Well, I have worked with them, and I assure you they are not gods."

_I want to, and I think I'm going to, punch Hubble until his whole body's broken! He drags us into a meeting to figure out what to do about the dying Synod members, and now he wants Da'an to go in and help them find the killer. I can think of at least ten reasons why we should be doing anything but this! The stupid dick! But I'll stick with the three main reasons: Da'an is in no condition to be doing anything right now, the Taelons will most likely notice that Da'an is not a human or a Taelon (that reason being why we've stopped sending Espelon spies to the Mothership), and I'm not in a position to protect her the whole time she's there! _

_I feel bad for Da'an and Link. They haven't been speaking to each other. Link didn't even show up at the meeting. Apparently he and Da'an have separated. Neither of them will tell us why. She barely speaks anymore to anyone. It's frightening a lot of the humans, and the Espelons are growing tense. It seems like everything that can go wrong is going wrong now. _

_I wonder if everything Da'an says is true. She mumbles things that we discover later are the thoughts of others. And after what she did to Ta'lay…_

_We all try to get through to her, and she just stares blankly into space. Link told us that she's been doing that a lot lately. He has to ask her simple questions very slowly and clearly to get a straight answer out of her. It's a strange and mind-numbing game they play. That would explain why they separated. Her being that bizarre state probably scared the crap out of Link and Ariel. I know she scares me._

_I hate this feeling of helplessness that plagues me. Tay'jay said the same thing the other day. He and I are both very protective of Da'an, for obvious different reasons. However, when we can't protect Da'an, we feel helpless and pathetic. Renee just ignores it by burying herself in her work. She only comes to headquarters and the lair when she has to now. _

_I can understand Hubble's frustration with Da'an. We spent an hour trying to get her to tell us what she sees in her visions. We got nothing reliable. She just kept talking in riddles and finishing our sentences. When she finally does recover, she tells us that she can't remember what happened. I think she's lying, another thing that pisses me off. _

_Ta'lay, Tay'jay, Link and Da'an all have this little clique now. They share vital information amongst each other but not with us. I'm wondering if any of the other Espelons know and they just won't tell us. I'm sick of Da'an keeping secrets from me! I know she thinks that she's protecting me, but there are some things humanity needs to know. I don't know how I can get her to understand that. She knows more about the priests than she's letting on, and she's deliberately withholding information—vital information that could be used to defeat the priests. Why won't she tell us? What in the hell is she waiting for? Why doesn't she trust me? _

* * *

"You did WHAT?"

Da'an burst out laughing.

Renee, Liam, Tay'jay and Auger were in a conference room in the Atlantic National Alliance headquarters in a meeting that Da'an had called for. Hubble's skeleton was ready to leap out of his body when he learned of the alliance Da'an had made with T'than.

"What could possibly be funny about this!" Hubble yelled.

"Nothing. I just assumed that you would be happy to do this," Da'an giggled wryly.

"All right, that's it," Hubble said harshly. "Liam, keep her mouth shut or I'll kill her myself."

"Infidel!" Da'an yelled. "You don't seem to understand what I've done for you!"

"Please, Da'an," Liam said firmly. "Please, pray tell, explain to us how in God's name this is supposed to help us."

"She's getting rid of Zo'or for us," Tay'jay said, rolling his eyes.

"For the benefit of the priests?" Renee cried. "I thought we agreed that Zo'or and the Synod were the lesser of the two evils."

"Well, it's better than just standing around waiting for either of them to make their move," Da'an said.

"Move's already been made," Auger said. "There's a guy out there that's been killing Synod members who are agents of the priests. Obviously this guy's working for Zo'or."

"As much as I don't wanna admit it, we've got no choice but to side with T'than," Tay'jay said. "This is our last best opportunity to get Zo'or out of that Synod seat cleanly and quietly."

"But the priests' struggle with Zo'or is the only thing that's giving us time to come up with a way to get rid of all of them," Renee said. "If Zo'or gets arrested, the priests will be able to execute their agenda with full force, and we still have no clue what they're going to do and how to stop them."

"The priests are going to get rid of Zo'or with or without us," Tay'jay said. "At least if we do it this way, we've got a glimpse into their world. We'll know exactly who in the Synod has been cleansed."

"That knife cuts both ways," Liam said. "The priests will have a glimpse in our world."

"They already have a glimpse into our world," Tay'jay said. "And they always will so long as those Taelons working for us are a part of the Commonality. That's a general risk we've chosen to live with."

"We might not be able to live with that risk if the priests are allowed to continue unopposed," Renee said.

"You can evacuate the Taelons anytime you wish, Miss Palmer," Da'an said. "You can evacuate us all. Earth is not the only hiding place for Espelons or Taelons."

"Wait, guys, let's just think about all of this. T'than's not gonna just sit there and let us get away scot-free when all of this is over," Auger said.

"He has no choice," Da'an said. "The prosecution needs original documents to back the dozens of witnesses prepared to testify against Zo'or. He also needs a character witness to establish the credibility of those documents. Who better than a respectable US representative like Mr. Urick?"

"Representatives from all over the nation can do that," Auger said. "They don't need us."

"The witnesses that have agreed to come forward are all just your average humans that were victims of Taelon experiments run by Zo'or. A smart defense attorney can turn down flat anything they say on a witness stand. And granted the UN has several national leaders whose credibility can't be questioned to back those documents, the ones that have agreed to come forward are all from nations that don't have the general respect the United States has," Tay'jay said. "If someone from the United States comes forward, especially someone who's working for the ANA, that might be enough to entice more legitimate nations to come forward too."

"What about the documents themselves?" Liam asked. "We can't just tarnish America's reputation to put Zo'or in a prison for the rest of his life."

"No, the UN law will take care of that," Hubble said. "We can argue that those documents contain military secrets that will endanger the welfare of the nation they represent if released to the public. Only the judge, the prosecution and the defense will have access to them and they'll be bound by law to keep their mouths shut."

"What if they don't?" Renee asked. "This whole thing could blow up in our faces."

"They will," Da'an said. "Trust me."

"Trust you?" Liam asked sharply. "I'm gonna need a little bit better than that, considering you got us into this."

"You have statements and names of every other national government that has participated in Zo'or's projects," Da'an told Hubble. "Threaten the defense. If they release the origin of those documents along with their contents, take every one of those nations down with us. The defense probably won't even make the documents an issue if you do that."

"And the prosecution?" Renee asked.

"The judge will just threaten to declare a mistrial," Hubble said. "Zo'or will go free. I know they don't want that. This is playing dirty, Da'an. It's not like you. Why are you really doing this?"

"Are you going to agree to this or not?" Da'an asked sharply.

Hubble sighed and sat back in his chair. His mind was still trying to adjust to the alliance Da'an had made with T'than. However, he should have known Da'an would pull something like this. After all, it was his fault for assigning her to the investigation on the Synod murders.

"You asked me to assist you in this investigation, you fool!" Da'an burst. "What better way to do so than to get rid of an enemy on the highest rung of your list?"

"Oh, is that how it is?" Hubble cried standing to face Da'an's sharp eyes. "Is this your sick little way of getting back at me for asking you to be a part of this project? Because if it is, no one's impressed Da'an!"

"Hey!" Tay'jay yelled. "You don't think Da'an's got something to lose in this too? She's giving up her own child to you. Why don't you show her a little bit of respect?"

Hubble shook his head and sat back down.

"You wouldn't have lasted five minutes anyway," Da'an taunted.

"Da'an, stop it," Tay'jay whispered, then he faced the other. "This is all crap, you guys. I know it, but it's our best option right now. Just give T'than the documents. That's all he's asking and that's all we need to do. From there, let him do what he wants to Zo'or."

"No!" Da'an cried. "We stay with this until the UN has him in custody. I'll do it myself if I have to."

"Now that's one thing you're _not_ doing," Liam said.

"Fine," Hubble said. "I'll give him the documents."

"What!" Renee yelled.

"As much as I hate admitting this, Tay'jay's right," Hubble said. "This is the best way to get rid of Zo'or. I'll pull a few strings with the Pentagon. Tell T'than he'll have the documents as soon as he's ready to receive them."

Before anyone else could object, Hubble adjourned the meeting and walked out. Everyone else however remained behind staring at Da'an.

"What the duce are you staring at?" Da'an asked harshly.

"Why did you agree to this, Da'an?" Auger asked. "What are you really aiming to do?"

Da'an let out a deep gasp and nearly fell out of her chair, but she stopped herself by bracing herself against the table. One of the ceiling lights directly above her burst into sparks and glass.

"What the hell is the matter with her?" Renee asked urgently.

"She's having another vision," Tay'jay said.

"Shut up!" Da'an cried covering her ears. "Stop talking! It's like listening inside a tin can!"

"Da'an, let us help you," Liam said softly. "What do you see? What do you hear?"

"I need to be alone," Da'an whimpered, and she bolted out of the room.

Tay'jay and Liam ran to catch her.

"I'll call maintenance," Auger said defeatedly, picking up the office phone in the meeting room.

"When is this gonna be over?" Renee asked in the same tired tone.

"What is up with you, Da'an?" Tay'jay pleaded.

Da'an shook her head and sank with her back against the wall outside the room.

"Dammit, Da'an, I'm your brother," Tay'jay said sinking to his knees in front of her. "Come on. If you can't talk to anyone else, talk to me. Look at me!"

Da'an lifted her head. "Zo'or is going to kill himself."

Tay'jay blushed. "So that's what it is about."

"What is it?" Liam asked.

"What do you plan to accomplish with getting him arrested?" Tay'jay asked Da'an, ignoring Liam.

"Getting him some help," Da'an whimpered. "He is in pain. He's insane. I can see it. I can feel it. All day and all night, it kept me up. I spent endless hours trying to figure out what I was seeing, and then…it hit me with T'than. I'm just standing there, watching him stab himself, and I don't even so much as tremble. He needs some kind of psychological help."

Tay'jay stood back up and slowly paced from one wall to the next in frustration. "Maybe the Synod can make a deal with the UN, and Zo'or won't even have to go through a trial."

"You can't be serious," Liam said. "The public is out for blood right now. They want to see Zo'or account for his actions."

"And he can do that," Tay'jay said. "He can do that just as easily in a Taelon prison as he can in a human one. Plus he can get psychological help from a Taelon."

"What kind of help could he possibly get?" Liam asked. "The only cure the Taelons seem to have for a psychological disorder is a cleansing on behalf of the priests, and the last time I checked, that's how he got this way in the first place."

"Zo'or got the way he is because he is afraid of the cleansing," Tay'jay corrected. "He doesn't want the priests turning him into a mind zombie, but that fear and his sudden loss of power are making him crazy."

"So we make him a brainless servant of the priests just as they would've done to Da'an," Liam summarized. "What gives us the authority to treat one Taelon different than the rest? I thought you and Da'an wanted to free all the Taelons, not pick which ones got to be free and which ones didn't."

"Neither of us is suggesting that Zo'or be cleansed!" Tay'jay cried. "I want his ass to go to trial if for nothing else than to put the fear of God back into him. But we all know that the UN is going for a death sentence. If we work this out and get him captured, maybe we can make a deal that will give him some kind of life sentence instead. From there, he can receive treatment by any means necessary. Zo'or's to the point where he won't want any kind of treatment, but most psychological patients don't want it until they get it."

"What does it matter what kind of treatment he receives and where!" Da'an cried. "He is my child, and I will not give up on him no matter what. Would your mother give up on you, Liam?"

"Da'an, please don't say that," Liam pleaded.

"Would she?" Da'an pressed.

It was Liam's turn to kneel to Da'an's level. "Da'an, I don't want to see you get hurt in this," Liam said. "I know he's your child, and nothing can change that, but…"

"I am going to hurt in this no matter what," Da'an said.

"What if this was T'than in place of Zo'or?" Liam asked. "What if it was any other Taelon? Would you be calling for this kind of action? Or would you let the UN or anyone else do what they want to him?"

"You don't understand," Da'an said.

"The hell I don't!" Liam cried. "It's not just your child up there. It's my father too!"

"Do you want your father to die?" Da'an asked.

"Sometimes."

"But…"

Liam fell silent. This is exactly what he went through when he decided to give his blood in order to save Sandoval. He hated Da'an for putting him through this, but then he had himself to blame in this too. After all, he had an opportunity to get rid of both Sandoval and Zo'or, and he had flinched both times. As much as he hated to admit it, he was no more capable of letting Sandoval die than Da'an was of letting Zo'or die. "But…I'd rather see him in jail."

"Then, help me," Da'an pleaded. "Let me help them both. We can stop them. We can stop them both."

"Stop them?" Tay'jay asked. "Stop them from doing what?"

Da'an's eyes turned narrow.

"Da'an, tell me," Liam said. "Just talk to me. It's me. We don't need to keep any more secrets. We can talk to each other. I'm your friend. I'm your—please just talk to me."

She could only face Liam when she said this. "I think…it's them. I think they're the ones who…are killing the Synod members. If they are confronted by the UN and T'than's coup before any of us can get to them, they will take down every last member of the Synod with them. They view it as a form of punishment. They want to punish the traitors and to deprive the priests of their best diplomats."

Tay'jay was so overcome with disbelief and shock that he let out a wry chuckle. "So you wanna try and talk them down before they finish off their murder-suicide killing spree. Why you?"

"Because I make Zo'or weak. If anyone has a slight chance of convincing him that this is not the way, it is me," Da'an said, still staring directly at Liam.

"The documents are a diversion," Liam said. "She wants to keep the Synod occupied while she goes after Sandoval and Zo'or. This has got to be the worst idea in the long sad history of bad ideas."

"No matter what happens, Liam, Zo'or will not be killing anymore people," Da'an said.

* * *

"T'than spoke to Ku'ni," Sandoval reported. "Apparently, he is making a deal with your parent. They are scheduled to turn over documents that can convict you tomorrow."

Zo'or smirked. "She is trying to stop us. This is a diversion to create a barrier between us and the Synod. She thinks we will not attack if there are several volunteers and companion protectors securing a secret meeting. The time has come for drastic measures. We will do exactly what she will not expect us to do. We will attack them before they attack us."

"Now?" Sandoval asked. "But they outnumber us at least twenty to one."

"It is too late to worry about that," Zo'or said. "Besides, Taelon technology specializes in protection for just such a reason. I will meet you on the Moonbase the day of their meeting with everything we could possibly need. Consider it my final gift to you."

"Are you so ready to die for something so foolish?" Sandoval asked.

"You do not see it as foolish," Zo'or said.

"You're absolutely right," Sandoval said. "I don't."

"Then, stand with me," Zo'or said. "Do _not_ back out on this now. It was too late for that when we executed the first one."

"You mean when _you_ executed the first one," Sandoval corrected.

Zo'or stared at his hands. "Yes…when I did."


	6. Chapter 6

6 – "Immortality, omniscience, domination, mere control—these are all nothing but petty dreams. I once dreamt of these things."

"_The cyber viral implants take the strongest instincts inside a human and enhance them. Upon enhancing them, these instincts are channeled under one motivational imperative: to the serve the companions with the best of your abilities. The only flaw in the implants is their inability to distinguish instinct to do good from instinct to do evil. That is the responsibility of the individual and the individual alone."_

_This is what Da'an told me a few weeks after she was freed. So then, who is to blame for people like Agent Sandoval? Do I blame the Taelons, or do I blame Sandoval himself? It was so simple back then. It was so easy to blame the Taelons for all my problems because nine times out of ten, they had at least some role to play in my problems. But I was a prick back then. I was nothing but a prick and a human supremacist. That's what the Taelons and Espelons are calling me. They tell me that my two species aren't any prized pigs themselves. They're right. Despite the fact that all I like to see is the goodness in all humans, I cannot run from all the abhorrent things that we have done. I can't run from the unforgivable things America in particular has done. We have nearly wiped out the Native American populations of this nation. We owned African slaves until the end of the Civil War, and then we treated them like they were lesser beings than us by separating them from our system and giving them impoverished-like conditions to work under. We hauled hundreds of Japanese into concentration-like camps after the attack at Pearl Harbor and then we dropped two nuclear bombs atop their most sacred cities. We exploited the interests and the rights of hundreds of Middle Eastern people in Iraq and Afghanistan calling it a "war on terror." Who the hell am I to adopt some pathetic holier-than-thou attitude against the Taelons?_

_Am I so blind that I forget the good the Taelons have done too? They restored millions of acres of trampled rainforest. They have virtually eliminated all disease, including all forms of cancer and AIDS. They have developed methods for paralyzed people like Link to walk again. They have given us a method to relive our most precious memories with our loved ones. They've enhanced our communication systems and given us the ability to go anywhere in the world we want to in less than five minutes. They have helped reform our public education system by updating the schools with interactive learning technology. They have helped us adopt alternative sources of energy wiping out our dependency on fossil fuels. They have helped quell the on-going battles in African and Middle Eastern nations. For the most part, the world is healthy and at peace because of the tireless efforts of the many good Taelons on Earth. Doors was a fool. Ma'el was not the only good Taelon on Earth. For the most part all of the Taelons are decent people. It's their government that's the problem._

_I've gotten into argument after argument about this since the Espelon and the Taelon resistors came. Many of them have involved Espelons and Taelons close to me like Tay'jay and Ta'lay. I know Ta'lay despises me, and I'm not sure about Tay'jay either. But I can't control the actions of the many generations before me. They simply respond, "And you think we can too?"_

_Is this the plague of younger generations? Must we always suffer the flaws and sins of the generations before us? Is that our burden to carry? Sometimes it pisses me off that parents could be so selfish. Then, I think of myself. I wonder what terrible things I will do that will not affect me but my children. All I want is the ability to choose my own destiny. I shouldn't have to spend the rest of my life correcting the mistakes made before me. I shouldn't spend my life defending the actions of the two species that are closest to my heart. It just seems like that's all I'm doing though. _

_I feel like I have absolutely no control. I have this wonderful role to fulfill for humanity. I am their salvation. That is what Da'an and Ha'gel called me. But it seems like I've either run from that role, or I've thrown it upon someone else. I have a path, and I have a future. Even if it is a future that I do not like, I am still steered down that path. I have no control over that path. Do I have any more control over life than Sandoval has over his implant? Am I any stronger than Da'an? Am I weaker than Da'an? Sometimes I think I am, especially when I see just how much stronger than me she can be. I think that's why I become so angry with her when she behaves in any manner less becoming than herself. I expect her to be the best all the time. I expect her to be the strongest and most moral. However, I don't expect that of myself as much as I should. I think that I am just as strong as her and just as moral as she can be, but I don't expect myself to be. Is that because of her age, her wisdom, or is it just that she is a Taelon and I'm some petty, insignificant, self-righteous human-Kimera half-breed? What control are we really given over our lives?_

* * *

Da'an moved like a ghost in the hallways of the Moonbase. From what they understood, T'than had mandated that all Synod members be moved to the Moonbase. While the others organized the exchange with T'than and Malley, Da'an decided to consult the advice of a dangerous ally. Liam would probably never forgive her if he learned she was doing this, but she needed to do it. She needed to be sure.

She wandered endlessly jumping from portal to portal, moving down corridor after corridor until the area she found became very familiar. The garden had grown a lot smaller, but the flowers that had survived were beautiful. In there she found him, the gardener, still tending to his plants.

"You are courageous for coming all this way to see me, child. You must be desperate."

"I need your wisdom," Da'an said, with her hands still shaking from her ordeal. "I did not know to whom else to turn. I cannot control this power. Once it starts, it will not stop. It turns me into a zombie or a mumbling lunatic. It is driving me insane."

"As I anticipated," the Priest of Responsibility said, removing the voice masking function but not the mask itself. "Sit with me."

Da'an sat cross-legged on the hard floor facing him.

"You have seen things, things you do not understand."

"Zo'or is going to kill himself. I am trying to stop him, but a part of me wonders if I will even succeed. Why am I pursuing this? What could I possibly hope to accomplish in getting my child arrested?"

"What do you believe you can accomplish?"

"I just want to give Zo'or one last chance at another life. Every time I try to push myself away from him, every time I think that I have done all I can for him, I just keep getting drawn to him. Fate seems to bring me back to him no matter how much we both desire to be as far away from each other as possible. What does that mean?"

"It means that you are his parent, and you love him."

"This is exactly the kind of behavior your master frowns upon. This is exactly why he believes emotions are a nuisance that must be done away with. This is why he believes that humans are inferior. Their love for things drives them to do the most foolish things."

"And the greatest things."

"I just don't want Zo'or to hurt anymore. If he accomplishes what he hopes to accomplish, he will hate himself forever. He will not be able to live with himself any longer, and he will kill himself."

"He knows that, yet he still wishes to go through with it."

"I have to stop him."

"What if you cannot?"

"I have to!"

"But what if you cannot?"

"I…" Da'an's voice trailed off, and the rest of her body began to tremble with her hands.

The Priest of Responsibility placed his right hand behind her neck and stroked. "Child, this power that has been granted to you is the power of the divine. It was meant for the gods to use, not us lowly mortals. You cannot expect to become omniscient with this power. You dig too deeply too quickly. You must stop now and attempt to control it here, or you will beg for death just like your fallen twin."

"But I feel so much pressure. From where it comes, I do not know, but I feel it."

"You know exactly from whence this pressure comes. It comes from many areas, but it mainly comes from love and family. It comes from the love you have for your child. You are so desperate to save him that you will go through anything and everything to do so. You are willing to sacrifice your sanity for him. You are even willing to give up this battle you wage against us if it means saving him. However, I caution you in this. You put too much on a fate that may not occur. Through all of this, your logic tells you that you will most likely fail, but your love for Zo'or tells you that you must try. When you have the ability to control fate, it is hard _not_ to try."

"I just want Zo'or to love himself. Maybe he would appreciate the good he could do if he saw himself from the eyes of another. Maybe if he just saw himself the way I see him."

"Your twin is partially to blame for this as well. Your family in general is partially to blame. You also feel the pressure to succeed where your twin could not. You feel driven by his design. This is his destiny, and you are merely his pawn. You fear the words of the High Priest of Light to be correct. You feel you have given up one mind prison for another."

"I fear that I have no identity, and if I do, then I am losing it. I am losing it to this power that does not belong to me. I have cursed Ma'el in my mind hundreds of times. Does that make me selfish? Am I too prideful?"

The Priest of Responsibility nodded in contemplation, not confirmation. "What would you do if I told you that there is no such thing as true individuality nor pure collective?"

"What do you mean?"

"The Lost Ones are on an evolutionary path toward pure individuality. That is the path that was discovered by an Amo'qui scientist generations before you were born. It is the source of the age-old debate between the Fundamentalists and the Liberated."

"Ka'li was a Liberated. Ma'el was too. They began to question the evolutionary path paved by the priests, but I never did. I know why that is now."

"Human scholars often spoke of this type of evolution. They call it Enlightenment, an awakening of the mind, a suspension of all immaturity and ignorance. The most powerful hindrance of this awakening is society, the path the priests have chosen for the Taelons. The collective will to function as a group, the ability to move towards our evolutionary goal as a mass with equal distribution of resources and knowledge."

"Then, enlightenment equals individuality while the collective is equality. But the individual hinders society's collective as well."

"These two are necessary foes. They require each other to succeed. Pure individuality leads to competition, competition that can turn to conflict, conflict that can result in death, and death that can result in extinction."

"But the collective hinders new ideas, foreign ways of thinking. It turns people into mindless slaves of a will they do not understand. Any opposing outside forces can destroy them."

"The subconscious dreams of all sentient beings, of mice and men—to find a delicate balance between society and individuality, a conundrum that can spark debate after debate, war after war, revolution, and evolution. You, my dear, follow the design of the Liberated, the design on which Ma'el seeks to steer the companions, but you know it is a mere dream, just as we know that the path on which we lead the Commonality is also a dream. Only when the universe truly becomes unified will we see which force wins overall, but that will be billions of years after our time, if it even comes at all."

"What is your advice?"

"Strive towards what you believe is right for society, and lead the Espelons in a method that only you would, a method that only you could. Do not strive to know your own future, Da'an. A linear path to the future goes directly against the ideals of individuality. Look beyond the surface. The future can be changed but only…"

"…if fate will allow it," Da'an finished. "I know, but I never understood. We are controlled by a collective force on a collective mission of divine will, but we each have our own path towards that goal. We are the instruments of our own fate, but we are also victims of divine intervention as well. It is a paradox that Ma'el never overcame."

"Most prophets never do."

"Not even yours?"

"Ah. I should have known you were smart enough to figure it out."

"It is the Priest of Knowledge, isn't it?"

"Of course."

"Then Nye had this ability as well?"

"She still does, but she rarely uses it. It nearly drove her mad as well. Such a powerful instrument must only be used sparingly."

"Why have you chosen to help me?"

"The principles we have discussed can affect even the highest of the hive, child. We as a collective do not always agree. When we do not, we act as individuals."

"Then, why not do something about it?"

"Because you are already doing that for us."

Da'an's was a half-smile, a look of desperation. "I will not watch my child die."

"You were told to pity him. Be prudent to accept his fate, whatever it may be."

Da'an sighed. "Ka'fil."

"Your recognition makes me smile."

"You said that our freedom would come at a time when the priests cease to be reincarnated, but you did not mean literally, did you?"

"What do you believe I meant?"

"You meant reincarnation as a religious revival. Every now and then, there comes a time when the faith of the Taelons dies and they require guidance. This is the time when individuality needs the collective. We need someone to tell us the correct and righteous path. That was the reason for the priests. The priests are our spirit guides, but when we become secure in our own faith, we will no longer need priests. The Taelons can break away from the Commonality without devolving, but they have to _want_ to. Therefore, when the Taelons no longer need this religious revival—this reincarnation of controlled faith—the time of the priests will end, and we will be able to choose our own faith and create our own destinies."

"That will never come as long as we continue to tell them what to think. How ironic that a species driven by logic and intellect becomes a mindless mass directed by a purest."

"Trapped in an illusion…a dream…just as you said," Da'an said piteously. She suddenly gasped. "No! I have to go now."

"I want to give you something." He pulled out two crystals. One was obsidian and was carved in the shape of an ancient Taelon weapon. The other was blue and carved in the shape of a Taelon flower. "These two crystals are heirlooms that belonged to myself and one of my colleagues. Care for them well, for they each contain a piece of our souls."

"Why are you giving these to me?" Da'an asked taking the two figurines.

"What better a place to channel the piece of the divine you have been given than in another piece?"

Da'an nodded and left, but she refused to smile. She could not smile.

* * *

Liam snuck Tay'jay, Mi'en and Renee inside T'than's quarters on the Moonbase. He and Malley were outside with the other companion protectors while volunteers made patrols around the surrounding corridors. No one was expecting any attacks because of the high levels of security, but the pressure spoke otherwise. Everyone was on pins and needles as if they knew that an attack was coming despite the fact that the Synod was well guarded. In the midst of all the pressure, Liam decided to take a walk. He needed some kind of relief, and he had hours to wait. The companion protectors working for T'than's conspirators were all in on the drop, but Liam wondered if they knew of his resistance affiliations. He expected keeping that secret was one of the terms to obtaining the documents, but still…

Upon turning over the documents, T'than would deliver them to the United Nations headquarters in New York alone and in secret. From there, a judge was waiting to issue a warrant for Zo'or's arrest. UN troopers who had been "donated" per se from nations all over the world were ready to storm the Mothership and arrest Zo'or. That was the plan. Meanwhile, the Synod's own volunteers stood firm and ready to capture any potential attackers. The killer would not stand a chance. Liam wished that Da'an was there, but Hubble would not allow it. If the negotiations failed, the last place Da'an needed to be was the home front of the priests. Still, Liam wished that she could be here with him. He just wanted someone to share the burden with when it was finally time to put both Zo'or and Sandoval out of power for good. He and Da'an were very alike, he realized. Even if neither of them wanted to believe that for the longest time, they were very much alike. Perhaps that was why no matter what Da'an did to him and no matter what he did to her, they kept coming back to each other.

"Quite the crisis, not so major?" Sandoval asked casually.

"What are you doing here?" Liam asked, turning sharply to face the man behind him.

"Exactly what I've been ordered to do," Sandoval said. "Zo'or asked for me to oversee protection of the Taelons, and I'm doing that."

"You're not supposed to be here," Liam said. "How did you find out about this?"

"I thought perhaps your Elaine Kingsley would be with you," Sandoval said.

"She's following a possible lead," Liam lied.

"I see. So why don't you tell me more about her? She intrigues me."

"Don't get her involved in your sick little world, Sandoval. We both know what you want. Why in the hell are you following me?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sandoval said.

"Bull you don't," Liam said coldly.

"I've narrowed down a list of suspects in the Synod member killings," Sandoval said casually, as if the change of subject came naturally. "The killer is obviously an agent of the Taelons, possibly a protector. Zo'or expects me to interview these people one by one."

"Your point being?"

"Well, your interview's coming up pretty soon, isn't it Major?" Sandoval said.

"Sure it is. I'll bet you're looking forward to that," Liam said, playing along cautiously to Sandoval's little mind game.

"Of course I am, but not for the reasons you'd like to think. I wanted to warn you of some possible evidence that could surface during the interview," Sandoval said, pulling out his global. "I think you should see this."

Liam rolled his eyes and stepped closer to Sandoval. Sandoval handed him his global and asked Liam to open a specific video file. When Liam did so, his heartbeat increased. It was footage of him aiding resistance members during the state of emergency. Sandoval then asked him to open an audio file. It was a taped conversation between him and Julia in the moments before the attempted assassination of President Thompson.

"There are about twelve more reliable video and audio files like that," Sandoval noted.

"How long have you known this?" Liam asked trying to hide his fear.

"Major, everybody knows it. That Zo'or and I know is what should concern you. This is the evidence Zo'or used to send Da'an to his death. Da'an died for you, or at least he should have. He escaped before we could prosecute him and he survived his encounter with the Jaridian warlords."

"The Jaridians are no longer your problem," Liam said. "Leave Da'an out of this."

"Tsk, tsk, Major, she's already involved," Sandoval said shaking his head. "She has become quite human-looking…and quite mad. I barely recognized her."

"I can't believe this. You're blackmailing me," Liam scoffed. "What's the deal, Sandoval. I give you Da'an for my reputation? No thanks. I've just about had it with this job anyway."

"I would never make you sacrifice your former companion for your—until now—spotless career. Instead, I want something else."

"And that is?"

"The companions are no friends of yours obviously. What if I told you that I had the ability to do away with them once and for all?"

"What are you getting at?" Liam asked ready to punch the lights out of Sandoval.

"You recall the incident at One Taelon Avenue? The incident that left Joshua Doors without a father?"

"Stop beating around the bush, Sandy. What are you up to?"

"One more question: Did you ever think to wonder what happened to the control core of that AI computer? The one the Taelons refused to even go near?"

"It was destroyed."

"I put that on record, yes. Here's what really happened to it. The core of the AI computer was powered by a stone of alien origin, a stone that carries a very unstable source of power. The waste emitted from using such a stone is a form of radiation poisonous to all Taelons. It is their Achilles heel. I have attempted many experiments on the Taelons to see how the radiation affects their energy. It can overheat their energy showers…"

"Da'an and Lili!'

"…it can slow their energy to a stop—hell, it can even make a very powerful blade."

Then it hit Liam! Da'an had been correct. "You son of bitch!" He let his anger take over and used all the force he could muster to punch Agent Sandoval.

Sandoval was too quick. He dodged the blow, grabbed the arm before Liam could pull it back, and wrapped his free hand around Liam's neck like a snake. Liam attempted to wrestle free, amazed that such a tiny man had such a powerful grip, but he stopped when a blue blade appeared in front of his neck.

"Zo'or does this out of revenge," Sandoval said. "However, I am trying to help you. You want to see the Synod gone just as much as I do. The master copy of this footage is with an old friend right now who is waiting for my word. When I call him, he will destroy the master copy and all other copies of this footage. However, if he does not receive a call from me, he will take that footage straight to the press, the police, and anyone else who will listen. You stay out of our way, Major. I know you will try and stop us. You're still so convinced that these things are worth saving. I pity you, Liam."

"You have lost your goddamn mind," Liam panted. "You won't last five seconds against the volunteer squads we've got ready for you."

"As I have no doubt implied, I have some help."

"You know, you're a fine one to talk about who deserves to die and who doesn't, you, the loyal agent who executed Zo'or's foul will without the most basic feeling of shame."

"I am not a hypocrite, major. I intend to repent for my sins in full."

"You prideful, selfish trash. This isn't about revenge or justice. This is about control. You have no control over your will thanks to that implant. You can't control your own fate. You can't even control the ones you love. Deedee? Beckett? Maiya?"

"Don't get in my way, Liam!"

"I'd rather die than feed the ego of a glory-hound like you."

"You want to talk glory, you son of a bitch? Tell me, Major, why do you battle with the resistance? Why do you lead the resistance? Why do you put so much faith in yourself? You sit there and judge others by their pride, but in the end you are prideful as well. _You_ have to be the one to save humanity. _You_ have to be the one to lead the humans. The Taelons' defeat must be on _your_ terms. No other way of defeating them is acceptable. It is your path, and yours alone. It's all about _you_. What makes you so important, major? Who died and made you Mohammed, Jesus, Moses, the messiah of man?"

"Go to hell!"

"It just tears you up inside that you have absolutely no control. You're just like me, Liam. You need to be the instrument. It's all you've ever known. What else is there to live for if you're not the one orchestrating man's salvation, man's awakening?"

Liam was angry enough to take the risk now. He elbowed Sandoval in the stomach and took the moment to free himself and made a mad dash down the hallway.

In a fit of rage, Sandoval fired his skrill relentlessly even after Liam disappeared in the corridors of the embassy, but upon his leaving, his global dropped out of his pocket. However, he could not take the risk of running back to get it. Instead, he kept running until he could find a portal, use it to take him to the Washington Embassy, and contact Hubble and the ANA from there.

"What in the hell do you think you are doing!" a fierce voice cried.

_Zo'or! So he was watching._

"I just got our biggest obstacle out of the way," Sandoval said walking towards the fallen global and stepping on it until it crunched and fizzled offline. "They'll all be dead by the time he comes back with reinforcements."

Zo'or sighed in frustration. He was carrying a large black bag. "And I'm sure that threat you made against him was an idle one."

"Of course," Sandoval said.

Zo'or shook his head with a cynical face. "We do not have time for this. We move in after they have made the exchange. If I know T'than, this is more than just a deal to put me out of office." He opened the bag and pulled out its contents one by one.


	7. Chapter 7

7 – "…I will now free myself from this slavery embodying this higher power. I will show them why their first lexicon is not to tempt fate. I will no longer run from my destiny."

_When Da'an received Ma'el's powers the first thing she asked herself was, "Ma'el, was this a vision of the future or was it a vision of your future?" She didn't know I was watching her. I have often wondered that myself. What does seeing the future really offer you? What if you do know what is going to happen beforehand? Does that mean you can stop the future from happening? Does that mean you are obligated to stop it? What if it's a good future? Do you just let it happen or do you do everything in your power to assure that it happens? And what if the future looks bright for you, but not for one close to you? What if in giving them a good future, you ruin yours? Some very perplexing questions. I bet Ma'el and Da'an ask themselves these questions a lot._

_When I got a call from Street that something was wrong with Da'an, I told Malley she was my mother. Where did that come from?_

_I came back and ran to Ta'lay's room first to see if he was all right. I found this beautiful white brunette lying asleep in a hospital bed. She was wearing nothing but a hospital robe. She awoke when she felt me standing over her, and then I saw her eyes. They were the same cerulean color every Taelon and Espelon possesses. (They tell me there's a difference between the two colors. I don't see it.) All I know is that it was Ta'lay. She seemed all right. Everyone else seemed more alarmed than she did. She said she actually liked her new form better. Her only regret was that Da'an didn't ask her before she did it. She laughed when I told her that Hubble, Renee, Street and everyone else were all in an uproar. She said it was no big deal. So why would everyone be in such a fit?_

_Maybe it's because people like to have a choice. They don't like being forced into things, even if it's for their own good. They like to come around to it themselves. I feel like Da'an was forced into the life she leads now. Nye forced her to come with her and her cult in order to undergo the ritual, and when Nye gave her the opportunity to back out, Da'an chose to go on anyway. She gave the notion that she was doing this for us; she was doing it in return for all that we had done for her and her species. Ma'el decided when the time was right to give her his powers. Da'an never got to decide when it was right for her. Even this whole battle against the priests and the Synod—it seems like we forced Da'an to side and fight with us, even though she swears she didn't need us to tell her anything. It begs the question, "Has Da'an ever done one thing for herself?" _

_Then, I think about myself. It seems like I was forced into doing a lot of things too. When Boone died, I felt like I had to take his place. I felt like I had to because my father was partially responsible for his death. I felt like the name Liam was forced upon me by my mother. Had it been my choice, would I have chosen Liam? Or would I have chosen something else? I feel like I am partially to blame for my mother never getting to know me before she died. There were ways I could have hinted to her that I was her son without directly telling her. I could have just remained close to her, but I was forced to distance myself from her. She was an implant, an agent of the Taelons. I was a member of the resistance and now I am the leader. I sometimes feel like that role was even forced upon me. After all, I was sort of just nominated and elected when they kicked Doors out. I could've turned them down. Da'an even asked me to. I guess I haven't done too much for myself either._

_Now, here's another question for both Da'an and Ma'el: "If the future is forced upon us, how can we expect to change it?" Even if we can see it, how can we expect to change it?_

* * *

"What is that thing doing here?" T'than asked sharply when Mi'en appeared with Renee and Tay'jay.

"I flew them here," Mi'en said lowly.

"They entrust their lives to the hands of a _para'shim_," T'than scoffed. "Pathetic."

"Hey, are we gonna argue, or are we gonna get this over with?" Tay'jay asked.

Mi'en stepped outside the moment they started speaking. Seeing her older sibling again made her feel sick. Her head started spinning. She wondered why she was in such a passion when she saw him. Perhaps it was because she never envisioned meeting him again. She blamed herself for this. She had wanted to come.

Malley came to her to help her recover, but Mi'en shunned the gesture.

"I know how you're feeling about T'than," he said calmly.

"What would you know about it?" Mi'en asked unenthusiastically.

"He can be an intolerant bastard sometimes, but he means well," Malley said. "He's got a warrior's honor, one that I haven't seen in any of the other Taelons I've met."

"That's all he has," Mi'en said. "That is all he's ever had. He sneered upon me when I was born. He said that I would never be worth anything to society. I cannot bear children even if you humans could help our species, and he scorns me for it. He tells me that people like me are a burden. He became even more disgusted when I displayed my feelings…for other people."

"I wish I could have gotten to know you personally," Malley said.

"No…you don't," Mi'en replied.

"It just seems like after hundreds of years you could let things like that die," Malley said.

"When you live as long as I have, you find that the good things fade faster than the bad. People always admire you and love you when you are perfect. When you behave perfectly, when you look beautiful, and when you do not cause problems, you are everybody's friend. However, when they find just one thing wrong with you, when you screw up just once that is all the ammo they need to take you down. Then, they never forget that. It haunts you forever. They never let it go as long as they live."

"I don't find that to be true. I find that people are willing to overlook your flaws if you have a great personality."

"You have met a rare group of people, then. Most are not like that. Most are just itching to find something wrong with you and exploit it."

"Your brother's one of those rare people."

Mi'en scoffed.

Malley gave her a metal tag and told her to read it.

"You have diabetes," Mi'en said.

"And not once has T'than had a problem with it. Some of my superiors find any companion protector with a terminal illness to be a problem, even if it's a controlled one. 'What if you wind up some place where you can't get an insulin shot?' That's one I get a lot. T'than's defended me every time."

"Have you ever stopped to wonder if the reason he does not find a flaw with you is because you are a male?" Mi'en asked.

Malley shook his head. "I don't understand."

"I was supposed to be the Taelon equivalent of a female," Mi'en explained. "That is what everyone expected me to be. Then, they made one examination of me and realized that I was neither male nor female. I was nothing. I _had_ nothing. That is what the word _para'shim_ means. It means 'unidentified.' T'than and Taelons like him are of old values. They believe the primary objective of the secondary parent is to produce children. If you cannot do that, of what use are you to society? In T'than's eyes, despite the fact that you have a disability, you are a warrior. That is what T'than believes all males should be. Above all else, they must be fighters and defenders of our honor. You have never let your disability hinder that role in society. That is why he respects you so much. But the moment you grow too old, the moment you grow too frail, he will turn his back on you. I've seen him do it to all of the Taelon elder warriors. That is why the Pa'dar warriors never let him join. He appreciated them when they were young, but when they grew old, he called them tired and weak. Anything weak for whatever reason is useless to society. My disability is a weakness that keeps me from fulfilling the role society made for me. I have had to deal with that criticism all my life from him and Taelons like him. I can't forgive him. I _won't_ forgive him."

"Sounds like you're one of those people," Malley said.

"What are you talking about?"

"One of those people who's just waiting to find a flaw and exploit it," Malley said. "That's why you'll never make up with your sibling. You're looking for a reason not to forgive him anymore. You're looking for a reason not to love him."

"Well you know what they say: It takes one to know one," Mi'en said. "I'm not proud of myself for this, but I cannot change. I wish I were like Da'an. No matter what Zo'or does, no matter how many people hate him, she loves him to death. He is and always will be her child, and anything else is just secondary to her. I wish I could love T'than so unconditionally, but I can't. It is a flaw I have acknowledged and that I have learned to live with."

"You're a sad person," Malley noted.

"I was a sad person until I met Da'an."

"Mi'en!"

Mi'en and Malley turned to see a woman running from their right. The rest of the companion protectors were completely oblivious to who she really was, but they assumed she was legit from the clearance badge she was wearing.

"Da—I mean, Elaine. You're not supposed to be here," Mi'en stuttered.

"Are the negotiations still going on?" she asked Mi'en.

"They're right inside," Malley said. "But you can't go in there."

It was too late. Da'an rushed inside without even acknowledging Malley.

T'than, Ku'ni, Renee, and Tay'jay all whirled around to see Da'an. T'than waved his hand and locked the door immediately.

"What are you doing here?" Renee cried. "Why can't you just trust us with this?"

"You have to evacuate the Synod," Da'an said quickly to T'than.

"Why?" T'than asked calmly.

"The ploy did not work. They are still coming after you," Da'an said. "You need to leave now before they get here."

"Calm yourself, Da'an," Ku'ni said. "Who is coming for us?"

"What does it matter!" Da'an cried. "You need to leave right now!"

"That works wonders for us," T'than said holding the folder with the documents. "The negotiations are finished. We have what we want."

"Guards!" Ku'ni cried.

Agents Malley and Blanca entered the room with half the squad of volunteers with them. The volunteers had arrived just seconds after Da'an walked inside, and one volunteer with energy rifles had grabbed Mi'en. Two others had their energy rifles pointed right at her head.

"What the hell is this?" Tay'jay asked.

"It's a trap," Renee said. "And I should've known."

"You should be careful who you ally yourself with, Da'an," T'than said. "I know we promised you immunity, but the priests absolutely could not resist. Do not try to use your powers. Even if you do manage to escape, the rest of the squad is armed and ready for you outside. I know you would not risk the safety of your two comrades."

"Now, it is time for us to make our own negotiations," Ku'ni said. "We propose an exchange. We are willing to let your friends in the ANA walk free in exchange for certain considerations."

"What considerations?" Da'an asked.

"You, for them," Ku'ni said.

"You backstabbing bastard-of-a-sibling!" Mi'en cried. "I hope the ice covers you in the ninth circle of Hell!"

"Why would you do this, T'than?" Da'an asked. "You came to me. You wanted me to help you."

"It is my honor and my duty to do whatever the priests ask of me," T'than said. "When they learned of this arrangement, they ordered me to do this, and I agreed."

"By the Commonality," Da'an exclaimed to Ku'ni. "T'than's not the one leading this coup. He never was. It's you. T'than has been _your_ pawn all along."

"He has always been my pawn," Ku'ni said. "Despite the fact that the Taelons deem combat in all forms unacceptable, there are still a few of us that adhere to the old principles. I am of a time when war was still war to a Taelon and combat was not just accepted; it was encouraged. After that stunt the Zunus'tos pulled centuries ago, the high priest created a coalition of his own. If the Synod ever betrayed him again, we were to clean up the disloyal. T'than and I were cleansed long before the planet was even destroyed. Our duty is and always has been toward the priests. We are their holy warriors. We are agents of the divine, and whatever happens to us, this will not be the last you see of people like us."

Da'an took one look into Ku'ni's eyes and stumbled backwards into Tay'jay's arms. "It was you. You did it! You killed Agent Reyes. You-You killed your own protector!"

Ku'ni chuckled. "Once upon a time, there was a man named Charles Manson. He started a family of innocent little girls. These girls became servants of his will, for they were so enamored with his teachings. They became his unconditional soldiers. They were willing to kill for him. They were willing to die for him. Then, when they did kill for him, why did he receive the harsher punishment? It is because despite the fact that the girls physically killed, he was the one who pointed them in that direction. They became human weapons for him. If you treat the girls as his weapon, he becomes the killer. If you treat the man who killed Reyes as a weapon, the priests become his killer. Therefore, it matters not who physically killed Reyes. He was a mere weapon. The priests are the holders. I did not have my protector killed. It was the priests. In that sense, they killed him."

"Then, the conversation Reyes heard. It wasn't about the priests. It was about you. Reyes was not talking about the cleansing of the Taelons. He was talking about the cleansing of the Synod. He heard that you were an agent of the priests and that you were going to depose Zo'or. When he went to his own unit for help, nobody would hear of it. But why you? Why in the world would they send you to kill your own protector? Why would you agree? What kind of a person are you?"

Ku'ni chuckled. "I was asked, and it was my honor and my duty to accept. Is that not the reason why you exiled Ku'don into eternal exile? The reason he uncovered our plans was because of me. It was my duty to the priests to correct my mistake. I tracked him to a club in New York City where he liked to go. Then I followed him until he caught on to my stalking him and led us alone to an alley. He turned to face me thinking I was a mugger. Imagine his surprise when he saw me. Imagine his devastation when I killed him."

"You son of a bitch," Tay'jay said sinisterly. "You kill the one man whose job is to save your life. You call yourself a soldier? A soldier fights with honor and dignity. He doesn't track his own friends and then stabs them in the back. You're no warrior. You and every agent like you are nothing more than dirty rotten killers. That's all you are, and that's all you'll ever be."

"Spare us the self-righteous Pa'dar code of honor talk, Tay'jay," T'than said.

"Da'an, the priests can sense your pain," Ku'ni said softly, ignoring Tay'jay's every word. "They have offered to end this for you. All you must do is return to the Commonality. Even now, it is not too late. It is never too late to admit when you are wrong. It is never too late to be cleansed."

"You stay the hell away from my sister!" Tay'jay said.

"Is that what you want, Da'an?" Ku'ni asked, "or do you wish to control your powers? We can help you do that. We will help you with this burden. We can make the voices go away. All you have to do is take my hand. I assure you your friends will go free. All the priests want is you."

"He's lying to you, Da'an," Renee said. "Look at him, Da'an. Look at T'than. They're nothing but puppets to the priests. Is that how you want to be? Do you want to be nothing more than a pawn like you were before? Or do you want to be a leader? Da'an, you've been there! You've been in their shoes. It's a miserable life. You chose to free yourself from that. Don't give into it."

The tension was interrupted by the sounds of gunshots and screams outside.

"Too late," Da'an whimpered over and over again.

"What is going on out there?" Ku'ni opened the door to see the firefight going on outside. Several volunteers were already dead. At the left end of the corridor there was a lone gunman firing round after round of an energy rifle. It seemed like he had an endless supply of them. On the other side, another was walking into room after room killing Synod members. T'than, Mi'en, and Ku'ni winced as they felt their fellow companions die.

"Get out there and kill them both!" Ku'ni ordered to the volunteers, Blanca, and Malley. "I do not have time for this."

Mi'en, Tay'jay, Renee, T'than and Ku'ni were inside just waiting. Da'an dropped to her knees and started hyperventilating. Tay'jay crawled over to comfort her.

"It's gonna be okay," Tay'jay said softly, even though he knew it wasn't. They were cornered. There was no way for them to leave. They had to hope that the volunteers would kill both Zo'or and Sandoval, but for some reason that was not happening. All they get hearing were screams and the sound of thudding bodies outside.

Throughout the carnage, Mi'en and T'than found themselves staring directly at each other. Mi'en should have hated this. The last thing she should have wanted was to die with her sibling. However, after what Da'an had said about him being cleansed, she found herself pitying him. She wondered if the sibling that had hated her so was just the priests speaking through him. Maybe Malley had been correct. Maybe somewhere in the depths of T'than's real soul was someone with honor and compassion, someone who accepted Mi'en despite all her faults because she was family. Perhaps the compassion T'than had shown Malley were pieces of his real persona rising above the mind-control of the priests. With this in mind, she found herself looking past those tense and stern eyes of T'than's. Da'an had been right about her. She had broken the priests' cleansing. Maybe there was some hope for T'than too. Now, she wanted to live. She wanted both of them to make it through so that she could try and save him.

"It's times like this I wish I had just come armed," Renee said to herself.

"Liam's still out there," Mi'en said. "Maybe he found some way to get help. Someone will come. Don't worry, Da'an. Someone will come."

"Oh, you sicken me!" T'than scoffed. "How dare you defile Da'an with your disgusting feelings? What possible interest could she have in a _para'shim_ like you?"

"T'than, there was a time when I would have argued with you," Mi'en said softly. "That time was not too long ago in fact, but now, I do not want to fight with you anymore. You and I are family, and I do not want to die hating you. I know that somewhere you do not want to die that way either."

"Curse you!" T'than cried. "I will never forgive you for what you did to me. I will be a part of the Commonality for my duties toward the priests. The priests will reward me with eternity amongst the greatest of my brethren. You, however, will dwell alone forever in exile for your sickening treachery. My only hope is that they kill you first so that I can watch you die."

"Wait a second," Tay'jay whispered. "Listen."

Everyone grew quiet and listened. There was nothing. There were no sounds of gunfire, no screams, and no bodies hitting the floor.

"Maybe the volunteers pushed them further down the corridor," Renee said.

"You think so?" Tay'jay asked skeptically.

"Only one way to find out," Ku'ni said cruelly.

"That's right, you two," Tay'jay said. "Go out there and defend your honor. Defend the priests' honor. You can go out there first, Ku'ni, to lead by example."

"Perhaps we should send our psychic out there," Ku'ni said to Da'an, who was hyperventilating and mumbling something that sounded like an argument with herself. "What pain you must be in if you are suddenly talking to yourself Da'an. There is still time for us to go to the priests. We can all go there together. They will save us, and they will save you."

"Hey! Leave her alone!" Renee said. "I'll go out there."

"Wait," Tay'jay said firmly. He turned to his sister. "Da'an, are they still out there?"

Da'an was still hyperventilating and mumbling, but she struggled to stop in order to regain her concentration. They all waited patiently for her to stop, and when she did, she stared at her brother. "No."

Tay'jay nodded for Renee to check. T'than unlocked the door and let her go outside. There were bodies everywhere. There had to be at least a hundred dead volunteers.

"How in the hell could two people do this kind of damage?" Renee asked herself. She nodded for the rest of them to come out. There was no one there. There were only bodies.

Ku'ni and T'than walked outside first. Tay'jay followed slowly with his sister by his side.

"No, no," T'than whispered suddenly. He rushed over to a familiar body. It was Malley. His own protector's chest had been sliced open by an energy knife. Blanca's body was beside his, with the signature of an energy knife imbedded in her forehead.

"They're all like this," Renee said, checking every body she found. "They've all been stabbed not shot."

"The one who fired at them stunned them. He didn't kill them. He only stunned them," Da'an said shuddered. "When the other finished off the Synod members, he killed the downed soldiers. That's why they argued, and they've separated."

"Why didn't they kill us?" Tay'jay asked. "Why haven't they come after us yet?"

"I hate this power," Da'an said ignoring the question. "Whenever I use it, I get more than I want to see. Why brother? Why me?"

Renee's global rang. She answered it. "It's Liam," she said aloud. The rest of them listened solemnly to the conversation between him and Renee.

"You knew this was going to happen," T'than told Da'an. "That was why you agreed to this. You wanted to stop them."

"I couldn't stop it," Da'an whimpered. "He was right. They were all right."

Renee hung up the global and pocketed it. "Liam says he has ANA troopers waiting for us a few yards from here. Let's go."

They made their way over the gruesome sea of dead bodies and walked down the corridor. A few minutes later, Liam greeted them with a squad of ANA troops. Renee ran up to Liam and hugged him.

"Where are the others?" Liam asked.

"They're all dead," Renee said.

T'than and Ku'ni were just a few feet away. Suddenly, the entrance to a hidden compartment opened. Sandoval appeared in front of Ku'ni and T'than. He stabbed Ku'ni first in his chest. Mi'en was so shocked that she did not even notice her body back into the compartment from whence Sandoval had just sprung. Tay'jay buried Da'an's head in his chest. The last thing he wanted her seeing was anymore dying.

Liam pushed Renee behind him, and the squad started firing. Tay'jay rushed Da'an inside with Mi'en instinctively to keep them from getting hit. Sandoval dragged T'than by his neck inside, closed the entrance, and swung him into Mi'en's arms. Before Tay'jay could even think to rise to confront him, Sandoval shot him with his skrill. Da'an was too paralyzed with shock to help in anyway. It was something that would always haunt her with shame.

"Agent Sandoval," T'than said calmly. "You cannot do this. Major Kincaid's squad is right outside. They are breaking in as we speak. It is over. Just let this go, and I will help you."

Sandoval knew exactly what he was trying to do. He was trying to stall him as the troops outside worked to break through the door. Sandoval did not have long to tolerate this futile effort. He pulled the energy knife up against T'than's neck. Before T'than could plead his case one more time, Sandoval sliced open his throat.

Mi'en screamed in horror. In that moment, as T'than dropped to his knees, an overwhelming feeling of sadness and sympathy took Mi'en. She held his arms as he kneeled on his knees with energy quickly draining out of the huge hole in his throat.

T'than brought himself up to Mi'en's eyes. His face! It was the face she had always longed to see from him. It was the face she had always imagined but never seen. It was the face of her sibling, the one that had loved her and looked forward to her birth with such anticipation. He could not have said anything to her, but Mi'en did not need to hear anything. She knew what he would have said. She placed her hand on the back of his neck, the only gesture she could make to symbolize her forgiveness. Sandoval brought the knife over T'than's head.

"Sandoval, please don't," Mi'en begged. "No!"

The knife came down in one fell swoop, and T'than's head disappeared in a cloud of energy particles. The rest of his body was slow to follow.

Mi'en screamed again and fainted.

Da'an crawled backward into the farthest wall from the doorway while Sandoval entered. Sandoval looked terrible. His suit was torn from the skrill blasts of the protectors. One of the blasts had streaked across his left cheek, leaving a horrible burn. Da'an gazed deeply into Sandoval's eyes. There was not even a person in there anymore. She closed her eyes hoping that the perverted thoughts echoing in Sandoval's head would leave her.

Sandoval grabbed her and placed the knife around her neck. "Open the door," Sandoval whispered coldly.

Da'an had numbed when Sandoval grabbed her. All she wanted now was for this to end…so that she could see Zo'or one last time. She opened the door without the slightest resistance.

Liam and the others were ready to fire, but Sandoval brought Da'an even closer to him. "Don't even think about it!" he yelled. "I will cut her throat. You know I will, Major."

"Let him go," Liam said. "We'll get him. You can't run, Sandoval."

"That's right, Liam. I can't," Sandoval said. He weaved through the crowd with the blade so close to Da'an's throat that she could feel it tingling.

Liam waited until they had disappeared down the corridor.

"Wait for my signal," Liam said. "I'm going after him alone."

"Liam you can't," Renee protested. "What if he gets away? What if he kills Da'an and you?"

"If you don't hear from me in five minutes, go after me," Liam said, "but he'll definitely kill Da'an if we all go."

He bolted after Sandoval before Renee could stop him. All she could do was tell the squad to check on Tay'jay and Mi'en.

"Zo'or didn't kill any of them," Da'an panted. "He never meant to kill any of them."

"Oh no, he did," Sandoval said marching her down the hall. "But he weaseled out of it at the last minute. I risked my neck going in and out of those rooms killing every last one of those Synod members, and then when I get to the last room, I find that Zo'or hasn't killed any of them. He's only stunned them. He said he couldn't do it. He said it didn't matter anymore. He said no matter how many people he killed it wouldn't matter anymore, and then he ran out on me. How ironic is that? He practically begged me to make this pact with him and carry out this suicide mission, and then he backs out at the last minute. I should have known he would do this. After he killed Nee'lan he kept sending me in to do his dirty work. All he would do was allow me a quick entrance and exit."

"I understand," Da'an said. "Now that it is all over, do you find that control you never had?"

"It was a dream," Sandoval said when they came back to the sea of dead bodies. He opened a room and pulled her inside. "It was a mere dream. I thought that if I got rid of them all, I could atone. I thought the pain would die. I thought that I could seize control of my own destiny, my own freedom. I had my awakening in that gateway, Da'an, but nothing good came from it. I don't feel better, Da'an. I don't feel at all."

"Zo'or's sanity is failing."

"Just like yours. He shows all the signs of a powder keg about to explode. He's distant and numbed. He doesn't even speak with a tone anyone. He's ready to die."

"Where is he? I have to help him."

"You cannot help him. He is beyond help. He is so far gone that he has become nothing but a shell of his former self. He is nothing more than a mere child fighting for control."

"Like you."

"Pride makes fools of us all."

"I'm sorry, Ronald, for ever getting you involved in this. I never should have picked you. This is all my fault."

"The darkness that lurks within me is not a result of the implant. It was always there. The implant just brought it out. It was bound to happen, Da'an. The implant just made it happen faster. Isn't that what you said to me?"

Da'an sighed. "Yes, I did say that to you."

"If it had not been there, Deedee would still be alive."

"Deedee _is_ still alive."

Sandoval dropped the knife. "My…my wife. You know where she is?"

"Nobody knows. She was taken into hiding by Boone. Her location died with him and Lili."

"Goddamn him! She belonged to me!"

Da'an shook her head in pity.

Sandoval trembled. Then he picked up the knife. "I'm sorry Da'an." He approached her and took her hand. "Zo'or told me where we was going just before he ran away. He portalled to the home world recreation. I want you to give this to him when you find him. He does not need a trial. He needs help."

He handed the knife to Da'an.

"What could this possibly do to help him?"

"It can give him a choice. It may not be the choice he wants, but it's a choice. Now that I have done it, I realize the little choices are all we really have. Fate only gives us a certain amount of control, Da'an. We should not try to be masters. We should not strive for total domination. The failure will only be that much harder to accept in the end."

Da'an hung her head low and wept. She never imagined that she would weep for him, but she did. After all, he was correct. They had all tried to manipulate fate, but in the end they were all manipulated themselves. This was all that was left for them all. "Goodbye, Ronald Sandoval."

"Goodbye my former companion," Sandoval replied emotionlessly. He shifted out of the room and down the hall.

Suddenly, Da'an found herself racing to catch him. "Ronald!"

Sandoval turned slowly.

"You wanted to know who your son is, the one who saved your life."

Sandoval nodded.

"It was Liam. He was born of a joining between Ha'gel and Siobhan Beckett using your body."

Sandoval looked down as if considering what she had just told him. Then he lifted his head with a smile. "I'm glad you told me, Da'an."

He was a man shot down by his own pride. It was no wonder he had not the heart to kill her or Zo'or at any time. They all suffered from the same pain, and they all seemed to do so together. She ran down the other side of the corridor, away from Liam's direction, to find another portal to the recreation.

* * *

Liam raced down the corridor, knowing time was against him. That was when he found the bodies. The hallway reeked of the smell of charred flesh, charred from the cuts of Sandoval's energy knife. Liam wanted to vomit as he passed the faces of people he knew. These were his colleagues. Several of them were as close to him as Malley. He wished he could have been there for them even though he knew that just being there would have meant his death too. Liam slowly walked over each body, but he nearly tripped when he saw one familiar body. "Damn it, Malley."

He continued trying to hold in the contents of his stomach, walking from room to room and checking for Sandoval, Zo'or and Da'an. He thought he wouldn't have to reduce himself to calling Sandoval's name, but several minutes of searching forced him to give in and just call out to him.

"Sandoval! You coward! Come out here and fight me like a man!" Liam coaxed, more in anger than anything else.

"I'm right here, Liam," a faint voice said.

Liam followed the voice in pure anger. He was ready to kill Sandoval himself. God help him if he had done anything to Da'an. He found Sandoval a few yards away from the bodies.

"You are a noble man, Major," Sandoval said with a salute.

"Shut up. You're going to jail," Liam said, pointing his pistol directly at Sandoval's head. "Put your hands in the air, now!"

"Oh, don't worry, Liam. I haven't harmed her. I hadn't the heart to kill her."

"Walk forward," Liam ordered.

"You're not getting angry, are you, Liam?" Sandoval asked. "I wouldn't want you reducing yourself to my level."

"Move towards me now, or I swear to God, I'll fucking shoot you!" Liam yelled.

"Go on, Major. Shoot me. It's all you've ever wanted in the world, and here's your chance."

"Don't fuck with me, Sandoval! It's over. I'm done with you. I'm done with looking you into the eye and letting you live."

"Then, kill me! Put me out of my misery!"

Liam squeezed the trigger as hard as he could and closed his eyes. Even after all the hatred and betrayal between him and his father, he had not the heart to watch him die. But when he opened his eyes, Sandoval was still there, standing on his two feet.

A wry chuckle escaped Sandoval's throat. "Ignorant. Noble but ignorant."

"A virtual glass vest," Liam surmised. "That's how you did all of this. I should have known you were too self-righteous to die."

"I am the instrument of my own fate. I determine when I am to die." Sandoval pulled out a traditional revolver from his suit pocket and put it to his head. "My skrill will not terminate its own master. It is a slave, just like me."

"Don't do it, Sandoval," Liam cried suddenly coming to his senses. "You need help! We can help you. We can get the implant out of you. It's not too late."

"If anyone asks why I did it, Major," Sandoval said, pulling out an envelope from his breast pocket, "tell them to give my regards to the dreams of mice and men."

"Sandoval no!"

The loud crash of the gun silenced Liam. As Ronald Sandoval's body fell to the floor, Liam dropped to his knees in both anger and sorrow. He wondered if this was how Da'an felt when Lili died. No. It couldn't have been because as he regained the strength to walk over to Sandoval's lifeless body and pick up the blood-splattered suicide note, Liam felt a sense of relief. It was the relief that his own father had robbed him of the burden of killing him.

"God have mercy on your soul, father," Liam said solemnly.

* * *

Zo'or should have been glad that Sandoval had performed the cleansing for him, but he wasn't. Damn that Sandoval for robbing him of his glory. Damn Sandoval for carrying out his actions for him, for doing what he never had the strength to do. Sandoval's bold act had made him realized just how cowardly he was. He had failed all of his expectations for himself. He had failed the expectations of his family lines. He had just plain failed. The mind prison of the priests had driven him to desperation. Struggling for such control in a cell when he never had that control in the first place! It was all an illusion. Da'an had been correct. They all had been. The prison had overcome him. All his plans of rising against his masters and seizing control…ruined! Hundreds of years of training, planning and scheming, and all he had to show for it was a butchered Synod, a dead protector, and an emotionally naked leader sitting at the foot of a fake mountain in a mockery of their beautiful home world. Da'an had drawn strength from this beauty. He never understood that, and he still didn't.

"I never thought in a million years that I would find you here," a soft feminine voice said.

Zo'or slowly lifted his head to see a blue energy outline of a woman. The form had changed, but nothing could ever hide the brilliance of those eyes. "Mother."

"They are dead."

"I know. I felt them all die."

"Your government is gone."

"My entire empire slipped right through my fingers. You think you have control. You believe it. You _want_ to believe it, but it is all an illusion. We are never masters, Da'an. We are slaves to a greater master. All of us."

"That is true."

"I had it all. I had…everything, and these humans took it away from me," Zo'or said coldly. "It is not fair."

"You must remain calm," Da'an said in an emotionless tone.

"I am the leader of the Synod! You cannot tell me what to do!" Zo'or whispered harshly in frustration.

"You have no synod," Da'an said firmly. "Your own protector whom you trusted and confided in has eliminated them all."

"I told him to, Da'an," Zo'or said. "I told him to because…I could not do it myself. There was no point. Killing Nee'lan did not make me feel stronger. It did not give me any kind of satisfaction at all. Why is that?"

"Because killing any person does not make you stronger. It doesn't mean anything when you kill someone even if it is for what you deem to be right," Da'an said. "You knew this. You always knew, but you acted anyway. You let Sandoval be your sword. You did so because it was the only control you had left."

"No one wants to be a slave," Zo'or said. "I think that is all I wanted, but even with the Synod dead, I am still a slave."

"You do not have to be. I can help you."

Zo'or smashed the rock next to him so hard that the hologram wavered. "I…am an adult. I make my own choices. I control my own destiny. I do not need your pity. I do not need your love."

"You are obligated to a choice," Da'an said softly. "The prison has consumed you. You need to be free. Come with me. Let us leave this place together. You will be free, and together we shall work for a better world. You can be a person again."

"You made that offer once before. I…I do not belong with you," Zo'or whimpered holding his head in his hands. "I should be dead. We should both be dead."

Da'an hung her head low and pulled out the energy knife. "I…I need you to come with me," she pleaded, trying to fight the brutal images swelling her mind. "I…I cannot lose you. You are my child. Please, come with me. I will always love you. I will always protect you."

Zo'or stared at her with empty eyes. Da'an knew it from looking at those eyes. There was nothing left in there but pure anger and hatred. It was so powerful and so overwhelming that it had literally numbed him. There was nothing that could save him now. Da'an knew this. She had failed him.

"There…is another choice," Da'an said, with her hands shaking. She tossed the energy knife to his feet. "There is another way to be free. You may come with me, or…"

Zo'or slowly took the knife. "You…You offer this choice to me freely."

"I know that is what you always wanted. I wanted to stop you. I wanted to help you, but…I know that can never be now. I am willing to live with this. I will always carry a burden, but if this is what you want, I will not stop you."

"This is my choice and my control," Zo'or said eyeing the knife as if it was an idol, not an object. "With this, I can take charge and control my destiny."

"Please, Zo'or. Come with me," Da'an pleaded.

"It has been altered," Zo'or said, after he opened the knife. He examined the blade carefully. "Sandoval never actually let me look at it. It is so…powerful, and so aggressive. Yet so beautiful. Altered with a radiance deadly to any Taelon." He glided his hand across the blade. He did not even feel the pain as the knife split it open. "So sharp. It may provide for a quick death, especially when asserted in the right place. What a gift! What a gift from you…or is it from my loyal protector? Who should I thank for such a gift?"

"Zo'or, see me. Please see me," Da'an said softly, dropping to her knees.

"I know the choice you would have me take…but perhaps there is one more," Zo'or said frigidly with a cruel grin.

"Zo'or, what are you thinking?"

"Can you not read my mind, parent?"

"I…refuse to," Da'an said. "I will not turn my powers against my own child."

Zo'or could tell by looking in her eyes that she was correct. Her extrasensory perception was beyond her control, but still she did everything in her power to channel it away from her own child. "I could not kill any of those people because killing them means nothing to me. There is only one person that could make me strong. This person's death by my hand will finally make me strong. It will finally give me the satisfaction I need. My poor parent. You love me so much. You always have. You want to hear this, and I will give it to you. I love you, Da'an. I love you, mother."

Da'an let her tears fall, but she did her best to hide them.

"I see how you suffer, Da'an," Zo'or said. "This thing is destroying you. It will destroy us both."

"That is why you must come with me. If we stand together, we can fight it. We can teach each other control."

"Oh, Da'an. Poor deluded Da'an. Please hold me. I am near the end. Hold me."

Da'an let her maternal instincts take over. It was perhaps the only feeling counter to this immense nothingness with which these prophecies had plagued her. A part of her knew her child was lying to her. He would rather die than accept her help. The logical side of her had all but accepted this. However, her emotional side refused to accept it. No matter what she did, her emotional side took over, and she believed the lie. She needed to believe that she could help him and that he wanted it. Now she understood how Lili could possibly submit to Vorjak. Pity is such a treacherous emotion! She embraced him.

_Bless the mother and the gifts she has left the Commonality and us. Bless her coming and her going. Larish'na._

And Zo'or lifted the knife over her back…


	8. Chapter 8

8 – "So give my regards to the dreams of mice and men. I pray that this helps you realize that's all our ambitions ever are: dreams."

_When Da'an came back from South America with us, she locked herself into a room and started crying. She cried for so long that she fell into a slumber. Link finally got the door open and asked her why she had been crying. She said she was mourning her brother's death, and then she recovered herself and left with him and Ariel as if the incident had never occurred._

_I talk to Ariel a lot lately. The Espelons all seem to like Ariel. They like her a lot more than they like Lili. How can they sit there and judge Lili? They never even knew her! The Taelons like Ariel because she behaves like a Taelon. Her tutors all say that she learns at the same rate a Taelon learns, and that she has an in-depth, inherent knowledge about her genetic family lines just as a Taelon does. The Espelons all like her personality. They say she's very playful and kind. She's always asking questions, and they love to answer those questions for her. It's funny how they always like the children better than their parents._

_Ariel tells me a lot about Da'an that Da'an won't tell me herself. She told me that Da'an likes to make things for her, and that she's always liked to do that. She said that the only thing Da'an loves more than literature and diplomacy is architecture. That makes sense to me. After all, whenever a new building was constructed, Da'an always had to go to the groundbreaking ceremony. Many of Da'an's more successful projects involved architecture and engineering than science and medicine. But then, she said something that perplexes me even to this day. She told me that the ship Ma'el arrived in on Earth was a gift to him from Da'an. Apparently Da'an not only constructed the whole ship all on her own, but she gave it to him as a birthday present. I wonder if this is even possible. Da'an never said anything about it. It's possible it was lost with all the other memories of her childhood, but still. You'd think she'd at least carry pieces of something so bold, and then, when she got them back, that she would talk about it. Tay'jay said that Da'an stayed up endless nights as a child decorating and re-decorating her and Ma'el's room when they were kids. More than once, she went too far and ended up decorating the whole house._

_Link said she does this too. All the decorations in his apartment now were either added or rearranged by Da'an. I've been there many times. I have to hand it to her. She's really good._

_I guess Da'an's a builder. She builds alliances, relationships, ships—you name it and she could probably build it. I guess that's also why Da'an becomes so downcast when things deteriorate, die or are destroyed. I think that's one of Da'an's biggest flaws as a person. She has trouble letting go of things. Even if they hurt her, she can't let them go. That was why she was so angry with Lili and never let go of her grudge until Lili died. That's probably why she'll never let go of Zo'or no matter how badly he hurts her. This also carries a side effect of holding things in. She will hold every little trouble she has within her, and she will never share it with anyone. Maybe she subconsciously believes that everyone else has trouble letting things die or fade away. She must be right. I have trouble letting go too.

* * *

_

"No!"

Liam fired his gun and the knife was flung from Zo'or's deceptive hand.

Her senses finally returned to her, and she pushed Zo'or away.

"You do not know me all that well, do you Da'an?" Zo'or said cruelly.

"Da'an," Liam called.

Da'an rose and rushed to Liam's arms.

"It's over, Zo'or. We're taking you away from here. You need help."

"You will do no such thing, Major," Zo'or said, standing to face Liam. "I beg of you to murder me, Kincaid. Let my poor parent watch her own child die at the hands of her replacement."

"Just tell me why Zo'or," Da'an said softly. "I need to know. I need to understand. Please just tell me why."

"I should have killed you long ago," Zo'or said, "but I never had the courage to do it. I despise your personality. You are so kind and caring. All you ever want is peace, and every time I get the urge to give into my anger and my hatred, your voice and your face always steady my hands and hold me back. I could have conquered these pathetic humans months ago. I could own the Commonality, and I could have vanquished the Jaridians if I had the strength to take the path of ruthlessness. I could have slaughtered millions of humans to frighten them into serving me. I could have sent wave after wave of genetically altered humans to make a wasteland out of the Jaridian home world. Don't you see, Da'an? You are everything a parent should be. You are my conscience. Even when I murdered a Taelon with my own hand, a wave of shame and dissatisfaction overcame me. But when I transferred myself into that human, I had no trouble killing another human. I had no trouble because I could not hear the judging voices of the Commonality. I knew that your eyes could not watch me there. I long for freedom as much as you do, but I long for it in order to gain the strength to do what I should have done for the good of the Taelons years ago."

"You need medical and psychiatric help, Zo'or," Liam said calmly. "Let us take you somewhere far away from Earth, where you'll receive the treatment you need."

"I will not trade one prison for another!" Zo'or whispered, running to the dagger at speeds faster than Liam's gun could catch. His eye color fluttered between blue and red. He opened the knife and pointed the blade at his chest. "Will you give me control, Da'an? Or will you let him kill me?"

Liam pointed the gun directly to Zo'or's head, but Da'an stepped in his line of fire. "What are you doing!"

"You cannot do it, Liam," Da'an said softly. "Let him take his own life. Give him that power."

"You would let me die, Da'an?" Zo'or growled. "How much do you truly love me?"

"It is this or the knife, Zo'or," Da'an said. "Either way, you are going to die. It is your choice."

Zo'or's eyes turned angry red, and a feral smile formed across his face. "That is where you are wrong, my parent. There is one thing I have left to do before I depart from this world. You see, I finally realize that the only path towards freedom left for me is death, but I still have one last thing to do before I leave this world." He leapt towards Da'an and tackled her before Liam could react to fire. Without saying anything, he began trying to stab her with the knife. Liam tried to fire his gun, but he couldn't get a good aim. He would never risk hurting Da'an no matter what, so he dropped the gun and grabbed Zo'or. Zo'or was ready for him to do this however. He let Da'an scramble away and faced Liam. They were now locked in their own struggle. Zo'or used his Taelon strength to push Liam backwards, and then he jammed the knife as hard as he could into Liam's left hand. Liam was forced back in unbearable pain, which only increased ten-fold when he made the mistake of observing the gaping, burning hole that the energy blade had left in his left hand.

The moment Zo'or stabbed Liam, Da'an ran away to get help. Zo'or rose and followed her.

Liam pulled out the global and called for Renee's help.

"Liam, where the hell are you?" Renee cried. "When you didn't call—"

"I'm at the home world recreation. Get over here now! I can't stop him! He's going to kill her!"

"Liam what are you—"

It seemed that no degree of head start could keep Zo'or from catching Da'an. She ran down the corridor as fast as her legs could carry her, but she could still hear him catching up. It was as if a powerful demonic force possessed the Taelon with no other objective than to tear Da'an to pieces. She found a portal and programmed it to take her back to her old embassy, praying that someone would be there to assist her. But as the blue gateway opened to take her to the embassy, Zo'or dove forward and tackled her, and they disappeared into interdimensional space together.

The alert Liam had sent Renee only increased her strength and her speed. She and the squad portalled to the recreation just a few minutes after Da'an and Zo'or had disappeared. She found Liam with his free hand pressed firmly into the ground. The pain made him so dizzy and had blurred his vision so badly that he had to cut off the global in order to use his free hand to keep him from collapsing. He probably would have gone into shock if Renee had no come for him.

"Liam, come on. Talk to me," she pleaded pulling him close in a vain effort to warm him.

Liam first gasped and then he groaned, both from the pain still evident in his hand and from his recollection of the circumstances that had brought about the wound. "Da'an! We've got to help her. Zo'or finally cracked."

"Which way?" Renee asked instinctively. Liam pointed back in the direction from whence they had come. "Damn it! She must have portalled somewhere just before we came. Take care of him. He's hurt."

"No!" Liam yelled, straining to stand. "I'm going after her. I've got to help her."

"Liam, you're in no condition to help anybody," Renee protested sternly. "Stay here and let the medics help you!"

"I'm going with you! I don't care!" Liam shot back.

"We don't have time for this!" Darius cried. "Just take him, and let's go!"

Darius and Renee each took one of Liam's arms, helped him stand, and dashed back to the portal. She checked the destination records. "It's the embassy."

"She must've thought there'd be volunteers there," Darius said. "The others'll catch up. Come on."

"Liam, stay here," Renee said. "You need to tell the others to meet us at the embassy when they get here. We'll take care of Da'an."

Renee and Darius left before Liam could object. Upon exiting the portal, they found Zo'or, with the open knife, trying relentlessly to stab Da'an, who was scrambling to get away.

"Why doesn't she just use her telekinesis or something?" Darius asked.

"Are you kidding me? It's her child. She won't risk killing him," Renee said.

"Her kid? That thing is Da'an's child?"

"You know I don't blame you, Da'an," Zo'or said in a raised but calm voice. "After all, it is not your fault that the Jaridians turned you against me. It is not your fault that terrible incident happened. Perhaps if we had just made it to the shuttle, things could have stayed as they were before." He cut Da'an's left arm as if it was just the next casual thing to do.

Da'an let out a terrible scream. Her primal instincts took over, and she punched Zo'or. Then, she got up and attempted to run again, but Zo'or recovered too quickly and grabbed her arms. He dug his fingers into her cut.

"You can fight this, or you can accept it, Da'an," Zo'or said very calmly as if he were now the parent and ignoring her screams as a nuisance. "Why should we put ourselves through anymore pain?"

Darius pulled out his gun and prepared to fire, but Renee stopped him.

"In that position, he could turn her around and use her like a shield," Renee said.

"Look, lady, I've been in the Marines ever since I was eighteen! I can shoot him long before that!" Darius yelled.

"Just wait a minute! At least wait to get a clear shot."

"He's not giving her that option!"

Zo'or opened the virtual glass window and prepared to throw Da'an out. "Come with _me_, Da'an. Let us go together."

"Fuck it!" Renee cried. "Shoot to kill!"

Zo'or heard those words, scoffed, and released his energy at Renee and Darius. They had to dive away to avoid being hit. At that moment, Zo'or only had Da'an with one arm. Da'an used the moment to twist herself free from Zo'or's grip. However, upon doing so, she accidentally forced him to the edge of the open window. But Zo'or was far from done with her. Before he lost his balance, he snatched her hand and dragged her out with him. Renee and Darius cried out to Da'an in vain and listened to their screams before they thudded on the ground below.

"Oh my God," Renee whispered in shock.

Liam and the rest of the team finally came out of the portal and into the embassy.

"Where's Da'an?" Liam asked Darius.

All he could do was turn towards Renee, who was still staring out the open window in shock.

"No!" Liam yelled, throwing away his gun in a rage.

"We should've stopped them," Darius said angrily. "We should have stopped them when we had the chance. I could've taken that shot, dammit! You should've trusted me!"

"Oh my God! She's still alive!" Renee shouted. She bolted past the squad screaming, "Out of my way!"

Liam, Darius and the others followed closely behind.

* * *

Both Zo'or and Da'an lay unconscious on the lush soil of the embassy's garden…unconscious, but not dead. It was the dead of night, and the only source of light was the small lanterns hanging over their respective flowerbeds. Zo'or was the first to awaken. He flipped over on his stomach with the cold wrath and solid determination still fresh within his mind. He was not going to stop until she was dead.

Da'an awoke more slowly, with a terrible pain in her chest that had literally knocked the air out of her. She strained to turn over on her back. By the time she was finally able to do so and regain her air, Zo'or had taken the knife and was crawling towards her like a jackal. Fear took over, giving her the energy she needed to sit up and scramble away from him, but that was it. Even with fear as her fuel, she could not shake the aching in her chest, her arms, her legs, and her heart.

Zo'or caught up with her quickly and pinned her down. "All you ever wanted to do was hold me back and deny my true nature. All I have ever wanted was to watch you die, but I was too weak to do so. That is over now. I have always been afraid of facing the consequences of my actions, but I have been more so afraid of facing your stern righteous eyes. I have been afraid to judge all their eyes. But now, I realize that I am going to die no matter what I do. Who will be there to punish me if I kill you and take my own life afterwards?"

"Oh, Zo'or," Da'an gasped.

_Your protector always had the potential to kill. We all do, but he had friends and family to keep him from giving into that nature. The Taelons deprived him of all of that, and then we implanted him with a tool he could use to enhance his true nature. He did what he did out of desperation. _

Zo'or gasped in fear as the strange voice echoed inside his mind. Da'an could see his eyes shifting from red to blue and back again.

_You however still have family left in this world. You still have people who love you to keep you from killing, and now you still try to take my life. You still stole the life of a human and a Taelon. You do not need me to hold you back from anything, Zo'or. You never did because I never held you back, and when I did you always managed to stop me. I am not your conscience, Zo'or. The Commonality is. The Commonality is the reason why you felt shame when you killed Nee'lan. The absence of the Commonality is why you took such pleasure from killing that human when you stole a human body. I am not the one you want dead, Zo'or. It's the Commonality, and since you cannot take the Commonality nor the priests, you take the next best thing. I do not think you fear dying, Zo'or…_

The voice was interrupted when Zo'or slapped her with enough strength to snap her neck had she been human. When she recovered, he did it again…and again and again and again while continuing his words in that icy mock-parental tone. "Keep…your…damnable...patronizing...thoughts…out of…my…head! If you have any…love…left for…me…you will withhold…your…wretched… witchery…and take…what you…deserve!" He lifted the knife over his head to bring it down on her with full force, but with what little strength she had left, she grabbed the arm with the fateful knife and pushed back. The result was a ferocious struggle between the two.

"You made me into this, Da'an," Zo'or said. "I am this way because of you. You are just as guilty of my actions as I, and that is why I want you dead. You and I both deserve to die, and we deserve to do it together."

Da'an could feel her strength waning, and the tingling of the blade got closer and closer to her neck. She knew there was no way she could fight his seemingly supernatural strength, but perhaps she could dodge the blade. She slowly edged her head away from the blade and let it fall into the soil.

Zo'or hit her again and sliced her abdomen open. Instinctively, she fought back with everything she had. She scratched him, she hit him, and she would have kicked him if Zo'or were not perched on top of her legs. Zo'or chuckled as she fought him hysterically. "That's it Da'an," he whispered through his teeth as he fought her hard. "Give into your anger. Prove you are no better than me. Prove to me that your hatred is the hatred I inherited." He struggled to bring the knife up to stab her again. Throughout the madness, she somehow managed to knock the knife out of his hands. It scraped across the dirt and switched off automatically. Zo'or hit her again—this time in her abdomen—and scrambled to the knife. Da'an somehow managed to grab his legs to prevent him from getting to the knife, and she pulled him backwards. Then, she made her own mad dash for the knife—not to hurt Zo'or, just to get it away from him. When she was far enough past him, Zo'or dug his hands into the wound in her abdomen. He pulled himself to his feet using her own wound and ran towards the knife. Da'an made a final, desperate dive towards the knife just as Zo'or dropped to the ground to grab it. Both wound up with the knife in their hands.

Liam and Renee managed to get there just as they wrestling over the knife. Both Da'an and Zo'or were on their knees trying to pull the knife out of the other's hands. Now, Darius had a clear shot at Zo'or, and he was going to take it. He aimed the gun and was just about the pull the trigger when Zo'or made one huge pull for the knife. The might of the pull did not force the knife out of Da'an's hands. Instead it pulled Da'an along with the knife on him. Her body weight pushed him on his back…and the blade opened.

Liam and Renee's hearts jumped in unison. The look of shock in both Da'an and Zo'or's eyes made it extremely difficult to determine on whom the blade had opened. All they could do was pray that it was not Da'an.

Then, Da'an leaned backwards, still in complete shock, and the blade slowly left Zo'or's torso. The energy knife slipped through her hands. Still hysterical from the whole ordeal, she embraced her dying child in her arms.

"Zo'or, no," she whimpered quickly. "What have I done? I'm so sorry. Help him! Please! Somebody help him!"

The energy was escaping from Zo'or far too quickly. No one could help him now, and she knew this. However, she refused to accept it.

Zo'or's eyes diverted back to their normal blue state. He was no longer afraid and no longer angry. He was only sad. "Da'an."

"Please, stay with me," Da'an begged. "Please. I can't lose you. I can't lose you too."

"I feel so clear," Zo'or breathed, more in surprise than in pain. "This is what I have always wanted." He stared at the clear night sky. "It…it is gone, Da'an. It is all gone. You freed me. You took it all away. I am free now. You know how I feel now Da'an. You know how I feel about you now. You know how I could only feel for you now that…you have taken it away. I wish I could say it. I wish I could say it for all to hear, but I have no desire to do so right now. You have to let me go now. Let me go…and let me die with my selfishness now. Let me live in my vanity…for a while."

Those were his last words before he dissolved in Da'an's arms. Da'an pictured herself screaming as she did when Ar'ron died, but her wounds, her loss, and Zo'or's words to her overwhelmed her. All she could do was faint.

The squad finally came after the commotion, but just in time to see Zo'or's form dissolve and Da'an faint. Liam rushed to her aid and held her closely. He held her in the same way he had held his mother when she died in his arms.

"There's nothing we could've done," Renee told Liam. "He was too far gone. Even if we had taken him, we couldn't have saved him."

"Come on, Major," Darius said, reaching for Da'an. "You gotta let me take her. I need to portal her to the infirmary at headquarters before she bleeds to death. She's running out of time."

"I'm up, Darius," Liam said rising to his feet with Da'an in his arms. "I can take her."

"Why didn't he just will himself to die?" Renee asked. "If all he wanted was to die, why didn't he just will himself to die or kill himself with the knife?"

"He wanted to take her with him," Liam said. "Because that's what every Taelon a part of the Commonality is afraid of. He wasn't afraid of death by the trial or by his own hand. He was just afraid of being alone, of dying alone."

* * *

Six days passed. The funerals and memorial services were finally drawing to a close.

Renee waited with the mourners, trying her best to hide her face, for Sandoval's funeral to end. Almost no one was there. Not even Deedee was there from what she could see, not that anyone had expected her to come. It had been problematic enough finding a holy man to give him his final rites before he died. Sandoval had been a Catholic, and no Catholic priest would even dignify Liam with an answer when he called him. Suicide was blasphemy to a Catholic, and many other religions frowned upon it too. But Liam finally managed to find a Methodist minister compassionate and sympathetic enough to read him his rites. When many of his family members learned of what Ronald had done and that his funeral would not be a traditional Catholic or military funeral, many of them shunned the thought of attending. The few who came did so out of pity or because he had left them something in his will.

While Liam gave the eulogy, Renee found herself crying. It was not for Sandoval. She would never cry for him. She was crying for Liam and everything this terrible incident had put him through. The press was nonstop. Renee spent everyday in and out of the hospital waiting for Liam and Da'an to recover, at some protector or companion's memorial service with Liam when he finally did recover, or dodging the press by working as many hours as she could locked inside the fortress that was Doors International. She cursed the press that had nothing to do but hound the only surviving companion protector of what they had reduced to the tagline "Slaughter of the Synod." But she knew that as bad off as she was, Liam was worse. Liam had unofficially cut her off from his pain. She felt like he was trying to hide his pain in order to keep from bringing it upon her. If only he could understand how much that hurt her inside. She wanted to get close to Liam, but he had grown so distant that Renee felt like a bother just being next to him. She went to see him every day that he was in the hospital and even held his uninjured hand when they repaired it. As he recovered, she tried to stay close to him and even braved all the funerals and memorial services with him just to keep him near. It seemed like a vain effort. He rarely spoke to her when she did see her, and what little physical contact they made she and not he initiated.

What she would have given to see Liam smile! All he ever did in the passing days after the tragedy was worry. He worried about Da'an, he worried about the families of his deceased co-workers, and he worried about humanity's reaction as they picked up the pieces to this terrible tragedy. Who would have thought that one man could cause so much pain?

She hated Sandoval for everything. She wanted to get in a time machine, go back to when he had been dying of his blood disorder, and euthanize him herself. She was sick of all this death and destruction surrounding him. All she wanted to do was hold Liam and take away his pain.

When he got to the hospital with Da'an, the doctors wanted to amputate Liam's hand. However, Ta'lay convinced Liam to undergo the same surgery that had been used by Ne'eg to regenerate Julie Payton's hands. Ta'lay was just as skilled with the technique if not more, and it had been a successful surgery. The technique had been passed on to several human scientists all over the world, and was constantly being perfected. However, with all the work being done all over the world, the operation was still purely experimental. There was always a chance that the cells could die. Then, Ta'lay would be forced to remove his whole hand and replace it with a prosthetic. Until then, Liam tried to enjoy the new hand.

When the service was over, all the mourners had left, and the body was good and buried, Liam shook hands with the minister and left with Renee.

"I wish you had left earlier," Liam said to her. "You didn't need to be here any longer than you had to."

"I didn't want to leave you," Renee said, shaking her head.

Why couldn't he understand that she loved him? What other woman would put herself through such misery just to have a moment with him?

"Thank God it's all finally over," Renee whispered attempting to rest her head on his shoulder as they walked back to the car. "Da'an's out of the hospital, you've got a new hand, the press is dying down, and all the funerals are done with. Maybe now we can finally relax."

"Renee, don't take this the wrong way," Liam said mournfully, nudging herfree while removing his tie and opening some buttons in his shirt to give his skin some air, "but I'm drained and I'm done. All I want to is go to the only home I know of without even the slightest bit of conversation."

"Sure, Liam," Renee said dejectedly, opening the car door on the passenger side. "I'll even drive to save you the burden of having to concentrate on the ride home."

Liam sighed. He should have apologized, but he was just too tired and too sad.

When they made it back to the lair, Tay'jay, Mi'en, Auger and Street were sitting silently in separate chairs with solemn and worried looks on their faces.

"What's going on now?" Renee asked in a defeated tone.

"It's Da'an," Auger said solemnly.

"What's wrong with her?" Liam asked in an alerted tone.

Renee gave a mental scoff.

"Ta'lay and Curzon are arranging to have her hospitalized," Auger said.

"Where is she?" Liam asked fearfully.

"She's in the room next door, but I wouldn't—"

Liam brushed past all of them and ran inside before Auger could finish. He entered a dark room. When Renee and Auger tried to pull him out, Liam closed and locked the door. When he turned on the light, he found that most of the bulbs had been smashed. The mirror had shattered, leaving the dresser littered with glass. The sheets on the bed had been torn, and a huge shard of glass lay on the torn mattress. He found Da'an lying on a portable stasis bed. When he tried to touch her, he saw that a virtual glass shield kept her pinned tightly on the bed. Her hair was ghostly white and her sleeves were torn where it looked like she had been grabbed. Liam could tell she had been crying and that she had also been sedated.

"Da'an," he whispered, disabling the virtual glass shield, "what happened?"

He lifted her, and she opened her eyes. They were a dark, blood red color, but Liam could not tell if that was from her crying or something else. Her breathing was shallow and her voice was raspy. She had been screaming too.

"Liam…kill me. Please kill me."

Liam had no idea what to do. He bent down on his knees, removed suit his jacket, wrapped it around Da'an, and pulled her close. Her tears burned him and her as they flowed from her eyes to his neck. Both of them were powerless. Da'an appeared how Liam felt: tired, defeated and completely powerless. How could he blame her when he wanted to do the same thing to himself? So all he did was hold her and cradle her until Ta'lay and Dr. Curzon arrived.

The End


End file.
